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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #131
    A man walks into a pet shop.
    "I'd Like to buy a goldfish please" said the man.

    The shop keeper said "Would you like an aquarium sir"?
    The man reply's: "I don't care what star sign it is".

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  2. #132
    happy New year everyone.

    sorry, i suffer from premature congratulations.
    Last edited by purplefan; 17-02-17 at 11:45 PM.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  3. #133
    What dose a west ham united fan use as a contraceptive?
    His personality.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  5. #134
    What do you say to someone who has spent 4 years at university on a mdia study course?
    "Can i have fries with that please".

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  7. #135
    I once wrote a book about poltergeists. it was so popular, it flew of the shelves.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  9. #136
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I was in this bar at the weekend and not saying it was rough or anything but I saw a sign stating Toilets and garden. It wasn't until I got out there I realised they were the same place.
    When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land I nearly fell off my unicorn

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  11. #137
    A skeleton walks into a bar.
    "Pint of bitter and a mop please."

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to AndThisTooMustPass For This Useful Post:

    purplefan (03-07-17)

  13. #138
    What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
    A golden receiver.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (23-08-17)

  15. #139
    I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (23-08-17),Paula (22-08-17)

  17. #140
    I was not very close to my father when he died. Witch was fortunate, he trod on a land mine.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

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