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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #111
    I was going past this rubbish tip today and saw a flock of seagulls flying over the rubbish.
    I thought, who threw them out?
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  2. #112
    What happened when Santa went speed dating?

    He pulled a cracker

  3. #113
    A man limps into th doctors and stands and says: "HELLO", DOCTOR IVE GOT A SORE BUM AND I CANT SIT DOWN". The doctor said: "There is no need to shout just drop your trousers and lean over the couch and let the dog see the rabbit". SO, the guy took his trousers down and bent over. Himmmm Th doctor went."That is odd". "Whats the matter doctor"? Asked the man. "well", said the doctor you have a mince pie stuck up your arse". "A what" said the man. "A mince pie" said the doctor. "Can you give me anything for it" asked the man. "Well" said the doctor."I could give you some cream".
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  4. #114
    What Christmas carol is sang in the desert? O camel ye faithful

  5. #115
    What do vampires sing on New Years Eve? Auld Fang Syne

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to S deleted For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (17-12-16)

  7. #116
    What do the workers at sports direct get for their Christmas lunch?
    About 5 minutes.
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    S deleted (19-12-16)

  9. #117
    What is the best Christmas present in the world?

    A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  10. #118
    Tawny
    Guest
    While camping one night, I remember looking up at the sky, the moon was full, not a cloud in sight. The stars twinkled brightly and every now and then a shooting star flashed by. I could make out Jupiter and Mars, the Milky way.. As I pondered upon this wondrous sight, I thought...
    Who the hell pinched my tent?

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Tawny For This Useful Post:

    S deleted (20-12-16)

  12. #119
    What do you give to the man who has everything for Christmas?

    Penicillin

  13. #120
    I brought some Christmas presents online the other day and I used my donor card instead of my debit card
    It cost me an arm and a leg

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to S deleted For This Useful Post:


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