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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #131
    A man walks into a pet shop.
    "I'd Like to buy a goldfish please" said the man.

    The shop keeper said "Would you like an aquarium sir"?
    The man reply's: "I don't care what star sign it is".

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  2. #132
    happy New year everyone.

    sorry, i suffer from premature congratulations.
    Last edited by purplefan; 17-02-17 at 11:45 PM.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  3. #133
    What dose a west ham united fan use as a contraceptive?
    His personality.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  5. #134
    What do you say to someone who has spent 4 years at university on a mdia study course?
    "Can i have fries with that please".

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  7. #135
    I once wrote a book about poltergeists. it was so popular, it flew of the shelves.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  9. #136
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I was in this bar at the weekend and not saying it was rough or anything but I saw a sign stating Toilets and garden. It wasn't until I got out there I realised they were the same place.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    bluebeary (22-05-17)

  11. #137
    A skeleton walks into a bar.
    "Pint of bitter and a mop please."

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to AndThisTooMustPass For This Useful Post:

    purplefan (03-07-17)

  13. #138
    What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
    A golden receiver.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (23-08-17)

  15. #139
    I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (23-08-17),Paula (22-08-17)

  17. #140
    I was not very close to my father when he died. Witch was fortunate, he trod on a land mine.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

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