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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #1
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Jokes and one liners part deux

    Right, the original thread was getting way too big, so I'm starting a new thread. Start filling it up with funnies, people
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  2. #2
    I used to know a boy at school called ‘Diarrhoea Dave’. He got the name because he was the only kid who could spell it.

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    Paula (29-02-16)

  4. #3
    I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it’s hard to find 32 of them.

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    Stella180 (29-02-16)

  6. #4
    I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  7. #5
    The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    Paula (29-02-16)

  9. #6
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Those are brilliant!
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  10. #7
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

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    purplefan (29-02-16)

  12. #8
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (29-02-16)

  14. #9
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Current relationship status: Made dinner for two. Ate both.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  15. #10
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Rick Astley will let you borrow all of his Disney movies except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (29-02-16),purplefan (29-02-16)

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