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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #41
    I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

  2. #42
    Head Groundskeeper OldMike's Avatar
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    Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
    77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  3. #43
    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

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  5. #44
    Head Groundskeeper OldMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
    77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  6. #45
    Head Groundskeeper OldMike's Avatar
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    I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

    Call that a joke it totally sucks.
    77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  7. #46
    Mohamed Ali was seated on the plane waiting for take off. The stewardess asked him to fasten his safety belt. Ali looked at the stewardess with a twinkle in his eye and said "Superman don't need no safety belt" "Sir" replied the stewardess,"Superman don`t need no plane"

  8. #47
    I was in the library the other day and i found a piece of cloth in a book. I though: "that's a turn up for the books"
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  9. #48
    When i die, I want to go like my father, Peacefully in his sleep. Not like his passengers Screaming and shouting.
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  10. #49
    "Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  11. #50
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    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
    Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.


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