I watched a TV programme the other night about a terminal ill woman who was going through chemotherapy and hoping to reach her 40th birthday (she did thankfully and has done some amazing things along her way.)

Trying to live her life to the full, going to sleep at night and praying to wake up in the morning so she could carry on living.

I felt ashamed while watching, I’m 50 plus and just wasting my existence, (my excuse is depression, anxiety & alcohol) people say what’s the matter with you; their are those out there who would do anything to live! (Even change places with you). I go to bed at night and don’t care if I wake up of a morning, what is wrong with me? Do I deserve to have that privilege, I don’t know.

It made me cry (not sure if just for her) or just because of my own selfishness!