?????.... Waste of space.

[Marcus]

I watched a TV programme the other night about a terminal ill woman who was going through chemotherapy and hoping to reach her 40^th birthday (she did thankfully and has done some amazing things along her way.)

Trying to live her life to the full, going to sleep at night and praying to wake up in the morning so she could carry on living.

I felt ashamed while watching, I’m 50 plus and just wasting my existence, (my excuse is depression, anxiety & alcohol) people say what’s the matter with you; their are those out there who would do anything to live! (Even change places with you). I go to bed at night and don’t care if I wake up of a morning, what is wrong with me? Do I deserve to have that privilege, I don’t know.

It made me cry (not sure if just for her) or just because of my own selfishness!

[Suzi]

Hi Marcus. Are you still drinking? We haven't seen you for a while. Back in April you were talking about stopping drinking, did you manage that?

[Marcus]

No unfortunately not Suzi, so my state of mind and my (mental health) at this time is of my own doing.

[Marcus]

I know I probably shouldn’t be posting here Suzi, after all the advice I’ve had over the years (mostly not adhered too), but at times it helps me (I feel comfortable here), if it’s inappropriate just let me know?

[Jarre]

We do understand however as always we ask you to try and listen and adhere to the advice to help you out and cut down on the drinking as with all aspects of Mental health its 20% from outside and 80% you to get through it.

[Suzi]

You are more than welcome to keep posting. How much are you drinking currently? What about asking your GP for help or referral to the drug and alcohol team?

[purplefan]

Hi marcus really hope your a bit better today.
Stay strong. Don't feel selfish.

[Marcus]

You are more than welcome to keep posting. How much are you drinking currently? What about asking your GP for help or referral to the drug and alcohol team?

Between 70cl and a Litre a day.

[Paula]

Between 70cl and a Litre a day.

Of what?

Marcus, addiction is a mental health illness. That's not me giving you an excuse to keep drinking, but more me saying that, as with all MH conditions, you need focus to work (often with medical professionals) through this, with a clear aim and working on your support structure and coping mechanisms. Please talk to your GP, and ask for help in reducing and giving up the drinking - as I think has been said to you before, you can't just stop as that is potentially dangerous.

And talk to us, it really helps

[Suzi]

I second Paula - of what?