Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
OldMike (16-02-16)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
OldMike (16-02-16)
Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
Shame on you Stella and you being a member of the Duck Protection Society.Originally Posted by Stella180
77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"
Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!
OldMike (16-02-16)
Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?
A: The outside!
OldMike (16-02-16)
Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?
A: Because it was too far to walk.
OldMike (16-02-16)
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."
OldMike (16-02-16)
As i child i had a condition that to survive i had to eat soil three times a day.
it was luck my older brother told me about it.
They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.
OldMike (18-02-16)
I used to think that stick and stones could break my bones but words will never hurt me.
till i fell into a printing press.
They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.
OldMike (18-02-16)
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