I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.
The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
A man goes to the dentis and says "Dentist, dentist i have yellow teath"
Dentist replys: "thats easy, wear a brown tie".
Boom boom.
What do you say to someone who studied media studies at university?
"can i have fries with that please".
They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.
selena (05-11-15)
Woody allen.
I really love my Gold watch that i got from my Father; he sold it to me on his death bed"
They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.
Scared the postman today by going to the door stark naked
I'm not sure what scared him more, me being naked, or me knowing where he lived.
Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.
Why is abbreviation such a long word!!?
Posting Permissions
.gif "(rofl)")