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Thread: Jokes and one liners

  1. #581
    I love the Internet it is brilliant. I went on to ask jeeves and asked him
    Why is Google so much better.
    They recon it is going to cost us €30 million pounds to send our Olympic team to Brazil next year but I say you can't put a price on 2 bronze medals in cycling.

    The fastest man ever on a bike was British. He went at 156MPH. 156MPH wow that's fast. It was recorded at a level crossing.
    Last edited by Paula; 24-02-16 at 09:00 PM.
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  2. #582
    A lot of people ry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
    A lot of people ask me how I cope with my depression and I tell them. I like to put smartie tubes on cats leg and watch them walk. If I'm really stressed I watched them going down stairs.
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  3. #583
    Are any of your jokes actually going to be funny rather that offensive?

  4. #584
    How can you say the onion joke was offensive?
    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  5. #585
    It sure as hell wasn't funny

  6. #586
    Hero Member
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    Woman goes into a chemists and asks the pharmacist "I would like a strong poison guaranteed to kill a man quickly" "you must be nuts" says the pharmacist, "I cant sell you anything like that, its illegal" The woman goes into her handbag and shows the pharmacist a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife. "Ah" said the pharmacist "thats different, you didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
    Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.


  7. #587
    mitz
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    Are any of your jokes actually going to be funny rather that offensive?
    this is just one of things I was referring to; and have felt u comfortable reading others past and present. the thread I made was closed and I'm unable to send anymore private messages, so i have no where appropriate to respond. Stella you know you're u have a tendency to be harsh, which is why you knew I was referring to you. it just feels very cliquey around here sometimes, when some can away with things and others can't, even if they try to highlight it, just get gagged! suzi this forum is brilliNt and you do a brilliant job, far better than I and many cld do; providing a service, and a free one at that, is just amazing, so pls don't take this as a criticism; I'm trying to higifnt a real issue as I see it - which is exactly what others say they are trying to do!

  8. #588
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi, Mitz. It's really tough modding a forum where members are all dealing with depression, either as someone with MH issues or those affected by it. The admin team are all volunteers and are also all dealing with this illness in different ways. But we try our best to be encouraging and supportive, while also ensuring that nothing on the forum can be considered offensive or triggering to members. Suzi has picked all the mods bearing in mind our different strengths and, I believe, we make a good team - all of us. There is never any intention to 'gag' anyone, but there are appropriate ways to flag up a potential problem. Commenting on threads such as this isn't really an appropriate method.

    So, I truly hope this thread can return to what it does best - bringing a smile to our members
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (28-02-16)

  10. #589
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mitz View Post
    this is just one of things I was referring to; and have felt u comfortable reading others past and present. the thread I made was closed and I'm unable to send anymore private messages, so i have no where appropriate to respond. Stella you know you're u have a tendency to be harsh, which is why you knew I was referring to you. it just feels very cliquey around here sometimes, when some can away with things and others can't, even if they try to highlight it, just get gagged! suzi this forum is brilliNt and you do a brilliant job, far better than I and many cld do; providing a service, and a free one at that, is just amazing, so pls don't take this as a criticism; I'm trying to higifnt a real issue as I see it - which is exactly what others say they are trying to do!
    I'm glad you like the forum. I don't know why you can't send PM's, but I'll look into it. But please, if you have a problem with any of my team there are better ways to deal with it rather than tagging onto random threads. I would rather that you didn't name particular members of the team, in the same way I wouldn't want anyone to pick a forum member..
    Thank you x
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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