Valentines Day

[magie06]

Do people still write silly verses in the Valentines card they give their loved ones? I can remember one or two from my school days that I would have used in my time, but I'd love a few new ones this year. Stella I'm sure that you'll have one or two.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Most rhymes rhyme,
But this one doesn't.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
and so are you.

In days of old,
In days of bold,
They dropped their load,
Upon the road,
and walked of quite contented.


Any new ones around? Or Mike any old ones?

[S deleted]

Stella I'm sure that you'll have one or two.

I don't know what you mean.

Ok not wanting to disappoint.....

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Cheese on Toast

[magie06]

I love you, I love you, I love you almighty,
I wish your pjamas were next to my nighty,
But don't be mistaken, and don't be misled,
I mean on the clothes line and not in the bed.

[S deleted]

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm useless at poetry
Show me your

[OldMike]

I've never sent a valentine card and the only valentine card I've received was from the lads where I worked taking the out of me.

[purplefan]

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected -house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna .

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
TW!!!

[S deleted]

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you.
But the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

[OldMike]

I'd like to scuttle your puttle

Spiddle your paddle

Tickle your wickle

And twittle your taddle
Stroodle your doodle
Cromple your string

Brundle your strundle

And frondle your ding

See, I told you I'm completely nuts about you

[Jarre]

I found this amusing one.....

Looks can be so deceiving
When searching for a lover
If you make an instant judgment
Just hope they can deliver

So ladies beware when choosing
The macho over the wimp
If you expect to get king prawn
You may end up getting shrimp

I am like you Mike, never had a card sent to me I just ignore the day these days and listen to my colleagues moaning about cost of meals etc.

[magie06]

My flowers normally arrive about now. They're cheeper this week than they will be next week and it doesn't really matter because they'll all die anyway.