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Thread: To tell or not to tell

  1. #31
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I'm very honest, but with depression it's more to do with medication and their effects, from the questions I've been asked
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #32
    mitz
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    This is a difficult one, I read the article and most, if not all, of the comments are unfortunately people who have had bad experiences when they have disclosed. I have done this myself at work, but only when it got to a stage where it was affecting my work and I couldn't hide it - I had to disclose whilst I was already in the post, as I wasn't coping and didn't have any choice. I definitely would not have disclosed otherwise. It doesn't really matter what the policies and procedures say where you work - including Local Authorities. My experience of Unions was terrible. Its easy and I think a bit naive - to say - always be completely honest - but if you are on the breadline and have to earn money to survive with a roof over your head etc, I would definitely not put my trust in any organisation or management structure to support me by telling people about it if I didn't have to. If you have got nothing to lose, and have other financial means of supporting yourself - then well yes, go ahead, you won't lose your livelihood or home - but most people don't have that luxury. Its unfortunate, but the world is a harsh place and whilst you might get lucky and get someone supportive, you might not. Its too much of a risk to take if you don't have to tell. If you do have to tell, be prepared for a fight, to prove that you are actually ill, and to try and get what you need to try and remain in work - because from my experience that is what you have to do - and that really isn't what you need, when you are not well anyway.
    For a new job, you don't have to tell anyone about any health conditions until you have been offered/accepted the post, so I would do so at that time, then leave it up to them if they want to withdraw an offer. I would definitely not go down any tribunal etc route, as its expensive and stressful, unlikely to win - and definitely not a good idea for someone who has mental health issues, far too much pressure.
    I really don't think it should be up to people at their most vulnerable to fight a system for other people..I think that's a bit unfair and puts too much pressure on people who are unwell, whilst they are trying to survive with little/no support in the world of work.

  3. #33
    mitz
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    So, yes I agree with Ruby Wax - fortunately for her she has less to lose by being so open and honest, as she is a rich lady and won't be jobless, homeless etc.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to mitz For This Useful Post:

    Amaya (12-07-15)

  5. #34
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    I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with the union, but there are many people who've also been helped by their union so that is something that anyone should try in a difficult position as they exist primarily to support the interests of the workers. Doesn't mean this always works perfectly.

    Also, if you look at history it is always the oppressed groups who have had to fight for their own freedom. Sometimes with help from others not in their group, or with solidarity from other oppressed groups. But none of the rights we take for granted today were handed to us by those in power, they were all fought for in tremendous struggles. However, that does not mean that every individual is responsible for fighting this battle alone. There are plenty of groups who can help with rights in the workplace and on benefits, such as Disabled People Against the Cuts and many others.

    So whether you tell or not has to be something the individual weighs up for themselves, is their emotional wellbeing robust enough to deal with possible negative responses? If not, don't, stay safe.

    But at some point if we want a world where mental health issues are understood and accepted without the result being discrimination, then we will have to stick our necks out on the tough issues and not wait for someone to not do it for us. But I say that's best done in large groups (like through the unions, campaigners etc.) rather than any particular person putting themselves in an unsafe place by disclosing what they did not have to about their private life. So only do it if you can. But the larger situation has more hope in it than mitz's post would suggest, if we stick together. But mitz, big hugs because your experience sounds horrible and I'd have fought your corner if I'd been your union rep x

  6. #35
    mitz
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    Hi Emmy, thanks for response. hope you are doing okay....my experience with the actual union rep was okay - the rep was really supportive and on my side, but it seemed there was a lot of politics going on behind the scenes, and he was unable to support me how he wanted to and was actually taken off my case! Before this experience I was not quite so negative about the whole thing, and prepared to 'fight', but it did open my eyes to how things can be, and it was a bit of shock, hence now my caution. I say it with regret really, as all the fight has been taken out of me and I would never get involved in that kind of thing again; it is so stressful and you have to be and feel really strong. I think that's the problem which you mentioned - about fighting the battle alone, as that is how it was; and depression makes you feel like that anyway.
    hugs to you Emmy

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