Page 2 of 154 FirstFirst 12341252102 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 1537

Thread: Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*

  1. #11
    Hero Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole. Que d'espérance.
    Posts
    2,620
    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    My mum was 41 when I was born.
    Were you first child?

    Thank you both for your answers.

    Besides this race, there is always something to regret and to blame myself on not doing something important in the past.

  2. #12
    Ex Team Hugo-agogo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Cambs, UK
    Posts
    2,111
    Often feelings of regret and blame, and that there's something we first need to do or atone for, weren't something we deserved, but were made to feel by other people who have shrugged off all responsibility.

    I think we can always try to work through things to be happier people, but I guess my message would be that it is always an ongoing process, and that there is never necessarily a point where we have solved all our issues and arrived at some perfect place in life. So do have counselling and treatment for things that still affect you, but don't put your life on hold. There's nothing to wait for. Life is for living and opportunities may be there every day.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Hugo-agogo For This Useful Post:

    selena (22-05-15)

  4. #13
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Hiding under the Duvet
    Posts
    15,669
    Quote Originally Posted by selena View Post
    Were you first child?

    Thank you both for your answers.

    Besides this race, there is always something to regret and to blame myself on not doing something important in the past.
    No, I was my mum's 3rd child, but my fathers first. I have a friend who was told she would never have children and even if by some miracle did become pregnant wouldn't be able to carry a child to term. She now has healthy twin boys and she was mid 30s when she had them.

    I have two beautiful young boys myself whom I love with all my heart but I still feel like a failure as I was unable to give birth naturally I guess we need to accept that life isn't always as perfect as we'd like it to be and roll with the blows but that is so much easier to say than to do

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (22-05-15),selena (22-05-15)

  6. #14
    Hero Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole. Que d'espérance.
    Posts
    2,620
    Hello everybody!

    It's passed some time since I wrote last messages here.

    My condition is better, but I still suffer from lack of confidence, first of all in my forces.

    I don't have new work and still not prepared to get into new job, it's not because of laziness, I am just not ready.

    Summer has come but I don't have any desire to go out, because I am shy that I am far from being slender and get depressed when I see a lot of skinny semi-nude bodies, it's not about envy, it's about psychological and non-accepting my body. Besides, PCOS problems again.

    On the good side, my back got skinnier, I've been bra fitted and my result is 42 C, still a lot of work to get back to my 36 B.

    And I want so much to move for some time abroad, everything around gets me depressed.

    Are you active on social links, such as facebook, instagram? I mean under your real name and photos. I'm not because I changed because of illness and people can hurt my feelings, but as I am too curious like many other women, sometimes I look at my ex classmates' photos. And after looking at them, I get depressed. No, there are just a few who achieved something professionally, the thing that hurts me is more simple -some got married and have children.

    I still have some time but I am just dreaming of being healthy and have a good partner and children, not necessarily being married. How much time should I stilll wait for my recovery? Lol, but it's my eternal painful question.

    I have probably Adult attachment disorder, I have feelings but can't disclose them, can't look straight in the eyes of others.

    Probably I should change environment and go forward.

  7. #15
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
    Posts
    62,196
    I am on FB, as is DWD https://www.facebook.com/DealingWith...on.UKforumpage
    Sweetheart you are doing really well. I think that you are a lovely lady and it shouldn't matter about your size!
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    selena (31-05-15)

  9. #16
    Hero Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole. Que d'espérance.
    Posts
    2,620
    Thank you for support.

    The thing is that I used to wear 12 size, now I am around 18-20. Well sometimes papers and tv put an established model of beauty higher than others and it's a lot of pressure with all these standards.

  10. #17
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Jane Austen country
    Posts
    33,117
    Hunni, I was a size 10 years ago, and a size 12 when we got married, 3 months after having our daughter. I'm now a size 18, because of ill health and medication, yet my husband still loves me very much. He sees my body, but he sees me, not my dress size. And it's the same with my friends - they don't care what size I am. The right friends, the right partner Will love you for you, not whatever label you have in your clothes
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    selena (31-05-15)

  12. #18
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
    Posts
    62,196
    My husband has known me as anything between a size 16 and a size 30. He loves me the same too... My sister in law (who is stunning) has clothes from a size 10 to a size 16 and she says it's just because of the way different clothes are labelled. She once said to me that it's only a number on a label. If you don't like it then cut it out! She's right...
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    selena (01-06-15)

  14. #19
    Hero Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole. Que d'espérance.
    Posts
    2,620
    Hello! Hope everybody enjoys nice Sunday!

    I've thought all last week about my future.

    I'm feeling guilty that I couldn't go to work by now, but my psychologist says it's still early, I should do more therapy, I know that's true but just blame myself. Anyway she considers I will get more recovered by autumn.

    Have you ever experienced such moments of "hurry" when you try doing everything on time and you just can't cope to manage it?

  15. #20
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Jane Austen country
    Posts
    33,117
    Oh yes, I was the ultimate 'I can have it all' woman. I worked, had 2 small children, was studying and trying to get my business as a Holistic Therapist going! Everything had to be perfect, and I am a classic overachiever. Then I gave up the day job, and crashed big time. I haven't been able to work since - I tried volunteer work for a while but even that didn't work out.

    I still try to do too much, and my expectations of myself are high but I am learning that, if I take things more easy, I'm more likely to get it done rather than give up in a hissy fit in the middle of whatever I'm doing.

    Please don't blame yourself, or tell yourself you 'should' be doing this or that. If you take things at a rate you really can manage, you're far more likely to get where you want to be
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    selena (07-06-15)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •