Hoping everybody is fine today.

I have a very good news (although there are some bad ones too).

First of all, do you believe in a kind of "magic" relation between two close relatives?
I've started to think about my dad around a month and a half ago, and even started missing him!
Before our first meeting some years ago (which was difficult one), we had never met again since their divorce (I was around 3-4) and he returned to his country.

In fact, I decided to forget and forgive everything as he never harmed me or something, he was just missing in my life, it was really an empty place in this aspect. And I would say the most important was emotional impact.
Despite some awkward moments, we got along well enough for our first meeting. There are some awkward moments and even when he hurt me with some inappropriate comments, it was not done deliberately I guess. He failed just to be responsible enough, but he is calmer then my Mom...definitely. However, I cannot say she ever talked badly about him. Now they admit their divorce was a failure, although his mom was very authoritative. And the events that followed after were horrible. My mom's life was hard as she wasn't probably appreciated enough by her parents. Her second marriage was tragic and the so called male having the role of my stepdad was horrible, she was abused and he always tried to touch me or hit me. After he had finally gone from our life, I often had nightmares in the first years that he would return back. I think my grandpa and later uncle were the only reason he didn't badly beat my mom and didn't dare to abuse me. However, it was living near a swine who always tried to ruin everything.

I want to say I'm missing my dad, I forgave him for not being present in my life. I cannot say that I love him yet, but I'm attached to him already, he is a special person to me.It's strange to call someone "Dad" after all these years.He phoned me some time ago and asked how I am doing, apologizing for having failed to be a good father and saying that he loves me.
So I decided to call him and his mom (my paternal grandma) today just to greet them. And I even called him for first time "dad". He said he was thinking about me too. He also has some health problems and will have a surgery after NY. I wish him full recovery. He apologized and said that he is really proud of me and I'm his only heir. And really willing to see me soon in Latvia. I know he loves me cause he loved my mum very much.

My mom found what and told me:" You see, you complained that you didn't have a good father, and know you can remain orphan". Her words hurt me. It's true, but I never said something really negative either.
I really appreciate what my mom did for me and I love her, but some of her comments hurt me. She said that I shouldn't be with a man of different religion for example. For me, it is not relevant, I believe in God, in my religion and I don't want my world be ruined. And my horrible stepdad was not muslim, so what? I know she cares, but nothing has been decided in my private life yet. Even her roomate at hospital told her:" Sweetie, leave the girl in peace and never wish her that something doesn't work out with a man X or Y. Do you want to have grandchildren? Then don't try to make her life impossible. She is adult and her PCOS is not a tragedy either ".