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Thread: please just give this a read. (depres,sert,relat)

  1. #1
    tomsmith
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    please just give this a read. (depres,sert,relat)

    (this post is pretty big so this top bit is a synopsis. basically me and my girlfriend were in love a great couple and we made each other the happiest we could be, then she went on sertraline for depression and in about week six she 'fell out of love with me almost'. some days she doesnt like me then others she'd be in love me again. now more weeks into it most days its like she cant even tolerate me she always snaps at me even when im being super nice, she doesnt even like me touching her and then one day in a week she'll be in love with me again. has anyone else experienced something like this with sertraline and if so any advice? the full story below is quite interesting to read i think so please give it a chance i need some help or even someone to relate to. thank you for reading this far).


    this is the first time ive ever done something like this but im really struggling now so any help or advice would be great. i met my now girlfriend in october at uni, now i knew she had depression from the start she told me straight off but in the first term i didnt see much of it, except for when she got drunk she'd have panic attacks and end up self harming because she said it helped her. right up until christmas we were happy, i made her as happy as the depression would allow and she made me so happy aswell. we spent all our time together and loved every minute like people in love do.

    christmas came so everyone let uni at went home. the depression really hit her hard when she was at home, she'd stay in bed all day, staring at the wall not wanting to see or talk to anyone, she said she started feeling like she wasnt interested in me anymore but when she came to mine and stayed over for a few days it was much better and back to 'normal'.

    the depression was starting to worsen now though and when we returned to uni it caused one of the worst nights of my life, she came home drunk and happy i took her to bed and then she had a big panic attack she started hitting me, i really did take a beating, she wanted to kill herself she was begging me to let her do it but i obviously couldnt. she managed to lock herself in the bathroom where her razors were hidden and she started cutting her arms and legs, which calmed her for about 10 minutes then she started crying her eyes out again, begging me to let her end her life, she went into the kitchen and tried to slash her wrists with knives this time but i hid them all and just followed her everywhere, she tried everything to make me leave her for 10 minutes so she could do it. her arms and legs were a mess. i believe this was a genuine suicide attempt and by the end of the night i had to pin her down. finally it all sorted tapered away and she went to sleep i stayed up and kept an eye on her. it was like a different person, i couldn't understand who that girl was. now the days after was her worst time she's had. she was completely dependent on me, i was literally her only reason to live she couldnt get out of bed without me she couldnt muster a half assed smile without me.
    so i booked her an appointment at the doctors and she was given sertraline within 5 minutes. now the next 6 weeks before the drugs kicked in were perfect we were a perfect couple again and when i looked in her eyes i could see the love. she said the hope of knowing it might get better helped with the depression.

    a few weeks after that things are worse than ever regarding our relationship. she says she feels empty, has no motivation and doesnt not care about anything at all but she still gets out of bed everyday and does uni work and chills with her friends. but when it comes to me she has no patience for me at all most days and doesnt want to see me at all, then one day she'll literally be back in love with me again and we'll have an amazing day together. but recently everytime i see her now she ends up snapping at me for no reason and we end up arguing, on these days we also share no intimacy despite me wanting to touch her she just doesnt want too. i can always tell withing the first few seconds of meeting her if we're gonna have a good day or a bad one, i can see it by the way she looks at me. she doesnt enjoy going out to clubs with our friendship group anymore which she did before.

    she said to me yesterday that shed rather feel sad than feeling this emptiness that she does now. if we broke up which im pretty terrified of i'd be crestfallen but she would get on with her life without hardly a second thought. she knows this isnt right, we were that couple which everyone envied before the pills, we truly loved each other and made each other happy everytime we saw each other. we've decided to lower the dosage of sertraline to see if it changes anything. ive posted this really because i just needed to get it out there and see if anyone has experienced anything similar and has any advice for me?

  2. #2
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome. You say you've decided to lower the dose, has the doctor advised this, because changing doses without medical attention is very unwise. When was the last time she saw her doctor?

    I have to say that I haven't heard about this reaction you've described from taking Sertraline, but it is common with people with depression to push those closest to us away. And you've seen her at her worst, that is difficult for either of you to forget. Can I ask if she had treatment for her cuts?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  3. #3
    tomsmith
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    We went to the doctors last wednesday and he advised us to lower the dose to 50mg from 100. They didnt need intense medical treamtment so no. She doesnt have any desire to cut herself since she's been on the drugs though which is good!

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  5. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome.
    I really feel for you. Has she only seen the GP? Did they advise her on how to cut down?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  6. #5
    tomsmith
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    Yes the Her GP told her to cut down to 50mg till her next appointment and see if anything changes if not he said we can think about other options such as changing the drug or going on an even lower dose. We saw a different GP this time as the one before made her uncomfortable when she tried to express her feelings, such a life changing drug should not have been given to her within five minutes of an appointment but she needed something to change desperately, she has had to wait 10 weeks for her CBT to begin. I dont want her to come off the drugs cause im scared she'll go back to suicidal thoughts but surely theres a compromise between that and feeling nothing like a zombie on these drugs. (Thank you to both of you for reading and replying)

  7. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    But do remember that it will take time for that reduction to actually make an effect on her mood. Do keep on with the drs though.
    It's also important to point out that a 10 week wait is actually really quick for the majority of the country!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #7
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    If the CBT does not significantly improve her mood and make her seem more stable then I think that she could do with a more in depth assessment from a community psychiatric nurse (CPN) or a psychiatrist. So I would keep an eye and maybe she could push her doctor for this? Maybe she would let you go with her to the appointment?

    CBT can be great for depression. Sometimes it is all a person needs to kick start a recovery. However, there are elements of your story that make me think that this may not be the case for your girlfriend. Particularly aspects of it that exactly mirror my own experiences. So I'm not qualified to be saying anything. But please just keep an eye. The idea of seeing someone like a psychiatrist can be scary, but in my case I did not want to go, but now I did I am off the meds completely, getting therapy and doing a lot better as a result. So sometimes the system surprises you in a good way. I self harmed while I was at uni over ten years ago. I'm only just now getting the help I need. I think it is great you care for her so much and are asking for advice this way. I hope the CBT will help, but it is not the only option if it doesn't. Also, Sertraline may not be the right antidepressant for her, but it could be, and six weeks is not really long enough to tell. But I'm glad they are putting her on a lower dose, anything above 50mg used to make me into another person. But I know it doesn't have this effect on everyone either.

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