Finally getting through it? *trigger*

[Pen]

Any way you could get to see your Dr at all?

That line implies I have a doctor. Despite what was said at my discharge meeting about talking to the surgery I dont have a named GP. Officially on paper it is a dr who is the head of the practise Dr B. I know him personally (he ran a course on christianity that I went to for two years) and he is a nice enough guy but I dont like him as a dr. Anyway that aside I am not going to waste my time trying to get through on the phone to see someone who wont be able to do anything anyway. I am all mixed up about dr's as far as I am concerned they are all a bunch of charlatans out to make money from sick people. I am not sick I dont need their false concern and chemicals.

[OldMike]

I can see your point Pen getting an appointment is a pain.

As a child I always saw the same doctor, then from my 20's to 40' never went to the doctor much.

Mid 40's on I had a really good doctor I'd always see, since he retired a few years ago and the surgery has expanded and doctors now come and go it is more difficult to see a doctor who knows you and your history.

...
I am all mixed up about dr's as far as I am concerned they are all a bunch of charlatans out to make money from sick people.
...

I must take issue with you there Pen most doctors IMO are trying to do a good job but are limited by the time allowed and constraints imposed on them by the NHS structure, targets etc.

[April_is_beautiful]

That line implies I have a doctor. Despite what was said at my discharge meeting about talking to the surgery I dont have a named GP. Officially on paper it is a dr who is the head of the practise Dr B. I know him personally (he ran a course on christianity that I went to for two years) and he is a nice enough guy but I dont like him as a dr. Anyway that aside I am not going to waste my time trying to get through on the phone to see someone who wont be able to do anything anyway. I am all mixed up about dr's as far as I am concerned they are all a bunch of charlatans out to make money from sick people. I am not sick I dont need their false concern and chemicals.

I can relate to your sentiments about doctors, there are some good ones for mental health but from my experience it's probably about 1 in 15. I think genuinely caring people entered the medical field to make a difference but have become jaded and demoralised by the health service and this comes out with the patients. Some doctors have literally spent 4 minutes with me, shoved a prescription in my face and got me out of the office. My official doctor changes every year as they even out the lists. I try to see one particular doctor who seems a bit more wise and human. He can't really help that much but at least the interaction is balanced.

[Suzi]

Pen - I thought you saw a good one a while ago? Are you not on meds anymore?

[Pen]

Yes Dr Baumont but I wont be able to see her again, you have to go with who ever is free. Anyway she did not do anything, she said she would contact the CMHT but she never did. Yes I am still on meds but I have not seen a dr about them since February, they are just on a rolling repeat prescription. I am thinking I will stop taking them in the new year.
I'm sure that there are some good ones out there, but I am also sure that on my records it just says "leave her alone and she will sort herself out eventually" I have seen them numerous times about my blocked ear, my scalp issues and my mouth problems and they never have any idea what to do about any of them. So I have learnt to live with the noise in my ear, try out various different shampoos and suck menthol sweets (menthol acts as a natural anesthetic). As for MH problems I know that there is no point at all in asking for help.

[Paula]

Pen DONT stop your meds without medical support. They do work, you've been well for so long now. This is a dip, yes, but you can and will get through

[Suzi]

Can you try to get a phone appointment to chase things up and to see if anyone can help with anything. Please don't stop taking your meds if you aren't able to see a regular Dr..

[Pen]

Folks thank you all for your concern but there is nothing the medical profession can do for me so I wont be bothering them. As Paula has said I am sure that this will pass when I have had a break.
I know that what I am feeling at the moment is a relapse of the physical affects I get with my depression. I can barely eat, am hardly drinking, just feel like I am carrying a 10lb lead weight inside me, cant concentrate, struggling with sleep and am just so tired all the time and by 3 in the afternoon I have to lie down for an hour to be able to carry on. If I still feel like this when I get to the end of my break then I may do something but no one would be willing to help when I have just been like this for a week.

[rose]

You sound really stressed out and fed up.

[Pen]

Posted a load of pictures upon FB of my finished work if you want a look.