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Thread: Finally getting through it? *trigger*

  1. #121
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    A little better. Really don't want to go to college, or even leave the house, still feeling anxious but we have another presentation today so I will need to be there, and maybe it will help. However I am coming home at lunch time to see my mentor as my daughter is working all day and I don't want to leave Ember from 9 - 5 on her own.

  2. #122
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    That sounds like you are pushing through and I think you are doing so well. It's not surprising that you had a wobble yesterday, things like that unsettle anyone..
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #123
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    You're so strong, hunni. I agree with Suzi that anyone would have been shaken up by that. Hope college helps you today x
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  4. #124
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    Managed only two hours in college before I felt that I had to get out of there and get home. I was feeling so cold and anxious that I curled up in bed with the dog for an hour when i got home. My mentor came and I had a cry about everything which made me feel a bit better for a while. She said that I was trying to do too much and that I needed to just rest and concentrate on my carving.
    Lit the fire and did some carving and the anxiety is back.
    On the good side it seems that my fibre broadband is finally connected and I am getting about 37Mb this afternoon so I can finally listen to Radio 4 extra catch up without it pausing every few minutes to for it to catch up.

  5. #125
    Guardian of the North and kipper holder Angie's Avatar
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    Glad that the broadband is sorted hun, and that you have spoken to your mentor, try and find a way to relax now and chill x
    If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
    Quote by Martin Luther King JR

  6. #126
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    some rest sounds like a very good idea
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  7. #127
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    Went to take the dog out and found I had a message on the phone. It seems that the BT engineer tried to visit this morning. Thankfully he did not need to get in. I am most annoyed as I specifically told them that the only times I would be here are Monday afternoon and Wednesday. What was the point of them asking when I would be available if they will take no notice!
    I am supposed to be cooking dinner tonight but I am just too tired and anxious to try and prepare food. I think we will have to have a pizza tonight, at least its two for Tuesday at Dominos.
    I just want to go back to bed.

  8. #128
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hooray for take away places! Glad you spoke to your mentor hunni..
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  9. #129
    Hero Member rose's Avatar
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    You're doing really well Pen. Try to keep telling yourself there is no need to be anxious. Its unlikely you will encounter that couple and their dogs again, the broadband is fixed, and try not to worry about bailiffs if they haven't been. I think usually you get letters from bailiffs before you get a visit, and if that happens you can call them and explain he no longer lives there.
    You are probably doing too much, you seem to have big bursts of activity followed by lows.. and I know you have a lot to do, but maybe you should prioritise certain tasks and leave others (such as decorating the house) to a time when you have more free time.
    Noone is going to think you are lazy if you don't do everything on your list.

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    Paula (24-03-15)

  11. #130
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    Thank you Rose. I know there is no need to be anxious, that does not stop the anxiety attacks. I was feeling anxious before the incidents on Monday, generally recently those sorts of things would not have bothered me at all, I had been so much better and able to cope with stuff like that, but this week I just am not coping.
    I am supposed to be in college again today to present my work but I have a vet appointment at 12:15 and whilst I would normally go in afterwards I will spend the day at home. My ceramics tutor knows what I am doing so he can tell the others or failing that they will have to catch up with me after Easter. I have a section of the fish sculpture here at home so I can work on it and not feel guilty that I am wasting time.
    My mentor was right I have been driving myself too hard, especially last weekend. I am just so desperate to get the upstairs of the garage finished as so much hinges on it being done. Once it is done we can move some of the furniture that is filling the downstairs of the garage into place. I can then start sorting through what is left and get on and sell what we don't want. I can then get the freezer moved and make enough space to get the kiln delivered. I can also make enough space for the workmen to be able to fit the new patio doors and side window. They are coming on the 13th April. Until I get the studio done I can't start offering courses which means I have no money coming in and I am scared that I will get to the end of the course and have no income coming to pay the bills.

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