Can you get some time to yourself to have a rest?
Can you get some time to yourself to have a rest?
Go for it, I won't be bored.Originally Posted by Pen
You wont bore us hunni and we may be able to help
If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
Quote by Martin Luther King JR
You never bore me xx
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Oh I think you might.
Its a hodge podge of things all totally irrational and stupid, some of them soooo stupid I may not put them here as they are too embarrassing. They are not in any order...
Tax Credits.... Gov will give me tax credits as I had no income last year.... But in order to satisfy them at the end of the year I have to show that I made an income that is equivalent of a minimum wage. I told them I work 40 hours a week so that means I have to show that I earned (after taking off running costs) £286 a week or they will take the money off me.
Art club. In order to try and get more people across my threshold I am starting an art club... 12 people are interested so far. I can only take 6-8 so I will have to split the group to accommodate them all. They only want to pay £5. As it will be a club I will need to set it on a club basis, ie have a treasurer, secretary and chairman. I hope to be able to take at least £20 a session for me but what if they think that is too excessive? and I am scared to setup the initial meeting.
Blind group. I am scared about starting this. I dont know what I am going to do with them and how it will go. What if I cock it up?
Dad. Not seen him in days but cant face going out with him at the moment.
Income so far it looks like my income will be £55 a week unless I can sell some stuff, but I am crap, my bowls are wonky and it takes too long to make stuff.
Firing. I have some stuff ready for the kiln and a lot still drying but after my mistake with firing stuff when it was not properly dry before (it exploded!) I am scared to load the kiln.
Getting agoraphobic. I am scared to leave the house and the immediate environs alone. I would like to take Ember down the beach but cant face it.
Losing my benefits. I currently get DLA but the gov are going to reasses all DLA applicants onto PIP I know I wont get enough points to qualify. I can manage my MH providing I do certain things like have a nap or break of work when I feel anxious or down and take someone with me when I am anxious about going to a new place but I know this wont cut it with the DWP.
I will have to tackle the council tax. Now I am no longer a student I am going to have to find the full amount of tax.
I am missing having a support worker to talk to. I am expecting a call any day now from the CMHS to tell me that I am being discharged and that my financial support for the art therapy group will come to an end.
I should be going up to art therapy but I am getting too scared of the social anxiety to go. I will have to go on another day to what I was going and I am scared about who will be there.
Mucked up my mandala drawing that I have been working on since last September. Don't know what to do, whether to risk making it worst by adding another colour over the top.
Hubby and his house... need I say more. Still need to write back to the solicitor.
Sorting out my "den" which is where everything from the main studio was dumped on Friday but is now such a mess I cant retreat there.
Problem with my Talk Talk service. I should be getting Sky but the box upgraded the software a couple of days ago and now I cant get it. I cant face trying to tackle them about it.
Electricity bill. Not yet had one since we moved in and no idea what I may have to pay.
State of the house. Not done any vacuuming for weeks. Washing up is piled up from the last two days. Washing off the line from yesterday is dumped (not even folded) in a chair. Next lot is on the line. Clean washing from last week is on my bedroom floor as I have not got round to putting it away. Sink and shower in bathroom are disgusting. (I did ask son to clean them but I guess he forgot)
Financial review tomorrow. See bit about agoraphobia! I have a meeting with an advisor at the bank about how I could better setup my accounts. Wish I had not been talked into it now!
Exhibitions. I have an exhibition coming up in a few weeks and I need to get organising it but I am failing miserably.
There may be part two in a minute but here you go for now.
Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.
Im just going to talk about your pottery at the mo. You're an amazing artist - otherwise you wouldn't have got a first in your degree! You're not crap at it, you've said before that work at the college sometimes cracked when they put it in the kiln so it's obviously something that goes with the job. I'm sure the next lot that goes in your kiln will be perfect. The blind group and the club - you spent a lot of your time at college helping and teaching others - this is no different. You can do this, I'm 100% sure. Hunni, have faith in yourself x
(I'll come back to you later - I've got an exam at 5pm so I'm spending this afternoon chilling/freaking out
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
OK, I am going to make some suggestions I hope you take in the kind spirit in which they are offered.
Do NOT assist your husband with his house anymore. Its up to him to sort this out and I fear that you bearing the brunt is the reason he is putting off selling. Its not fair on you. He doesn't have to deal with the. If he does, he might give in and do the right thing (I believe he should sell, his brother and your kids should get their inheritance)
The house: daughter and son should share responsibility of cleaning. You are not running a hotel. In fact give them a choice; help around the house or pay more rent.
You are a wonderfully kind person and you put yourself last. Your children and your husband are adults and need to take care of themselves and help take care of you.
Re the pots.... ok, can you cheat? Can you get a mould of some sort to make the base shape before adding the pretty bits (I've seen them on facebook, I still like that wiggly edged plate the best). Put a few of your least favourite things in the kiln and fire it up, if they explode its not a disaster (but they won't explode because you know what you're doing).
Does the art club need to be a club? Can't it be a lesson, and charging £10-£15 a week sounds reasonable, particularly if it includes materials and tuition. Do you know how much others charge for art lessons in the area?
I believe your social anxiety is stemming from all the stuff you have going on. You sound absolutely exhuasted. The problem with running your own business is knowing when to take a break. It will take some time to build up business and get into a routine. You are doing a brave thing here.
Oh Rose you make it sound like the kids dont pull their weight. Its not them but me who is not pulling their weight. We have a rota. As there are 4 of us it is split into two main jobs. Job 1 is the bins and recycling Job 2 is the house work. Me and my son (J) are one group my daughter (H) and her BF (A) are the other. This month H and A have the bins and recycling. J and me have the house. J looks after upstairs. He cleans the bathroom, landing and stairs. I do the hall and the kitchen. We all do our own spaces.
H and A look after the cat, do their own shopping, cook their own meals and do their own washing up. J cooks about twice a week and I do the rest of the meals and the shopping. I do the washing up for J and me before I go to bed (usually) and J drys up and puts away in the morning before he goes to work.
Ref the art club. I tried to setup lessons but no one would join. I started off with the fees at £8 but people complained that £8 was too much.... It is very difficult to find out the fees others charge as they don't advertise as they are over subscribed.
We all do our own laundry. H and A get the machine on a Saturday and J gets it on a Sunday I get it when I run out of underwear!
Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.
It sounds as if you have it all worked out. But I thought you said your son didn't do the bathroom? I suppose you'll have to give him a friendly reminder.
£8 seems like a bargain but remember I am in London so my numbers are skewed.
What do you think about asking your husband to deal with his house issues himself?
With the pots I do use a mould sometimes but even then you are not guaranteed to get an even rim one of the pots in my pictures was made in a mould. No I need to cheat in a different way and not have a straight rim to start with! The plate you like was made in a mould that I wade from a Indian Copper plate I picked up at a car boot sale.
Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.
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