Sorry, I’m not quite sure what you mean. Can you give us more details?
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Sorry, I’m not quite sure what you mean. Can you give us more details?
What is it you want to plan?
About living alone or invite a friend for a while.
I had been to a psychologist. I'm feeling such a relief, today prepared after some soup - first time since my mother's death.
Today is the first day you've eaten since your Mum passed away?
Why don't you just take a little while to see how you are? There is no hurry?
Thee first day I've prepared more normal and consistent food.
No hurry, especially it would be better to wait until the end of the year.
I'm glad you're eating properly.
Why not wait then and see how things settle. You've been through quite a lot recently and I really think working on your own mental health might be a good idea...
Your life has changed so much, hunni, it’s probably be sensible to take some time to figure out what your next steps are
They always say that you shouldn't make any big life choices in the months following a bereavement. I honestly think like Suzi and Paula that you should give yourself time to adjust to life without your mum. I know when my own mother dies I rushed a few decisions that probably should have had a bit more thought. Take time to concentrate on you and discover what it is exactly that you want out of life.
You are so kind and dedicated a lot to looking after your mum, you need to rediscover you. Xx
Thank you, that is true too.
I developed anyway a kind of eating disorder: i can eat, than the next I cannot either in the evening. Lack of appetite and nausea.
I’d say that was normal when going through such a difficult time - you do need to try to eat, but lack of appetite is usual. Don’t worry that you’re developing an eating disorder
We grieve emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Decreased appetite etc is not uncommon during bereavement. Try and eat just a little meal at a time and keep drinking fluids. Sometimes dehydration can cause nausea.
If you don't eat properly you'll get nauseous... It's something that my son does so I know this bit. It's not an eating disorder. It just means you aren't eating properly or regularly enough.
A lot of things to do...
But for the first time since mum's final days, I got some proper sleep.
Glad you got some sleep sweetie x
Glad you got some sleep lovely. It's so important.
How are you doing, love?
Thank you.
Sincerely, rather bad. Of course I'll return to work, I'm going to follow treatment.
I'm missing so much my mum.
I've recovered to a certain extent. Alhough there are certain things making me feel without confidence and suicidal.
That is about my relationship with a man.
What about it?
Some time before the death of my mom, I met a man. Well, maybe not one, but this became closer.
The thing I'm struggling with now (maybe due to the fact we still don't get well enough each other and I need a break too)....I guess it's a bit suicidal.
It is also related to my mom, my childhood with an abusive stepfather. Although it was many years ago. I pity her so much. It is not about me being harassed, it's about how he treated her.My mom was a beautiful woman, he was an abuser.
This makes me suicidal that nobody will ever be able to truly love me...no man...these memories are hunting me and putting me down. In these moments, I feel the need to hurt myself, my veins.
Everything I had experienced before focused on his attempts to harm me, now it took a different road.
I am extremely needy emotionally. This guy was by my side and tried to make me smile in the saddest moments of my life.
However, we know just a little about each other.
Sometimes he did not reply back in time. I did not insist either in fact. Maybe he likes me just because he had never had such a girl like me before.
He split with his girlfriend 2 years ago, he mentioned she broke his heart, but he recovered. He mentioned "the job" he had and the other things in the past, "beautiful" girlfriend. I found her profile and sorry - no beauty there, but that's subjective. And now I'm the beautful, calm and stupid! He does not know anything about me. He never lied or promised something, I cannot blame him for being crazy and jealous.
Normally, everyone has a past and now I will see in every man a cheater and a liar, this means impossibility to build up my private life. If I see exes and prostitutes around, the reflection of the unhappy marriage of my stepdad and my mother, I will compare myself again and again to someone's exes. This can really lead to suicide attempts.
It doesn't matter if I'm more or less beautiful. I'm feeling useless that I cannot trust anyone.
That is sad because actually I've had some admirers recently.
You need to seek therapy to try and work through all of this. Bad experiences doesn't mean all men are like that but you need to work through what caused these feelings in a safe space
At psychologist?
This image of my mother is haunting me down, on the last day before her death. The words of the doctor from emergency team, she said to her partner pointing at my mum:
" Look how beautiful this woman is. Her eyes are so nice."
This is haunting me down.
Maybe to tell him the truth and to ask just to be left in peace?
Selena it's a good image to have of your mum beautiful with nice eyes on the last days of her life.
Psychologist, counsellor, psychotherapist... it doesn't matter where the help comes from as long as they are qualified to give it.
You're grieving lovely. In time, you will learn how to deal with it but right now it is still really raw.
Hunni, now is possibly not the right time to be thinking about a relationship. I do think you need professional support to work through your grief but also, when it’s time, your past and the way you think about men. But all this is going to take time and your priority today has to be looking after yourself. Are you eating and drinking?
I'm trying to do it properly and in time.
I'm feeling so disappointed about myself that I have fallen in deep grief again. And that I haven't managed so far to do all necessary things about the house.
Tomorrow I'll have my next appointment at psychologist.
You shouldn’t be disappointed. It’s very early days and it’s a bumpy road - today is tough, tomorrow may be better - but you are doing really well.
Sweetheart your grieving, you need to give yourself the time to do that x
Should I think bad about that guy?
Or maybe I shoulld tell him to just leave me now in peace?
What do you mean that he didn't reply to you in time? How much time? Have you met him in person? Where is he from?
Have you located a psychiatrist/psychologist?
Yes, but once. He is currently working abroad. Being onine, talking to me than leaving without reading my message. It might be nearly a day. Not willing to say bad things, I'm just feeling worse in the process of communication, maybe just not the time.
Yes.
When are you starting your sessions?
I'm wondering if maybe you should wait a little before jumping in with any relationship. You need to work through your history first and make you in a better place...
I have been today.
It helped for sure.
But well, I just didn't want to be rude when he messaged me this morning. I had written before that it would be better for him to leave me in peace. I'm deeply depressed and he deserves bettter woman in his life. Not to mention of course all my anxieties and insecurities. I've got simply mad...My imagination and head is troubled.
He replied in the morning that no, he does not want to leave me for anything. But he got the message that I'm not ready for flirt. He wrote that I'm beautiful, intelligent and courageous and worth much more than I think. He sent his pic, he looked really tired, saying that he had a hard day before and works on Saturday too. He asked me about my schedule for today and said everything worse because I'm alone in the week-end.
I know he is ready for a new relationship, but not sure and also because I'm in grief.
I'm very confused and just don't want to imagine/blame him as a liar, I have no evidence.
There's no harm talking to him as a friend....
Better woman? Sorry, love, but that’s not the case. Yes, right now you’re possibly in the wrong place for a relationship but that doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of having a man who treats you like a princess (pref a tough one like Moana ;)). It’s not whether you’re good enough for him, it’s whether he’s good enough for you
Thank you everybody. Your support does mean a lot to me.
The psychologist said that the upcoming days (nearly a month) will be the hardest and if I need to take antidepressants not to wait and be refferred to the psychiatrist.
That's true that these days are really hard.
Sorry lovely, when did you see the psychologist? Who will be prescribing the medication?
Yesterday.
The medication just in case of necessity can be prescribed here only by psychiatrist.
Then I'd say get a referral to the psychiatrist... However, I'm really, really glad you're seeing a psychologist!
I had a major breakdown yesterday evening. My hidden emotions burst.
It's strange...but today I'm feeling better.
Have you arranged the psychiatrist appointment?