Hi, sorry for the late reply, I've been signalless in North Wales all weekend, my appointment is not til August 9th, the first date they had available, but it feels good knowing its there, thank you everyone for your kind words and support :)
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Hi, sorry for the late reply, I've been signalless in North Wales all weekend, my appointment is not til August 9th, the first date they had available, but it feels good knowing its there, thank you everyone for your kind words and support :)
Hey guys, I'm back from my weekend away, we had a wonderful time, went down a spooky mine, saw a Shakespeare play and we to an interesting museum. Thank you all for your kind words, I've only just had chance to read most of it, it is really nice to find people that actually understand how I feel, I get the feeling my friends just tell me they understand to make me feel better because they'll often say things like, "just give me a call when you're feeling down or come round" which if they really understood they would know I can't do (and I have explained this too!) anyway, I hope everyone else has had wonderful weekends too :)
Sounds a really nice weekend away you had, spooky mine eeps scary, the museum sounds delightful too.
Me I went to a local Scarecrow Festival which was a fun Saturday afternoon, check out my thread "Mike's Patch" for pictures :)
Oooo what play did you see?
That's brilliant, it's not too long to wait.... (panda)
So glad you had a good time away!
The spooky mine was brilliant, my daughter was too scared to go in! And we saw 'as you like it' I only understood about half of what was going on but it was still really good :)
Sounds brilliant!
I've had a handful of good days recently but then all it takes is one little thing for me to feel like the world would be better off without me in it, I just feel so hopeless right now, like I'm not good enough for anyone and I'm just a f***ed up mess so what's the point in even trying? I just want to go to sleep and not have to wake up and deal with being me. I wish I could be somebody who didn't feel like this.
What happened, sweetie? Would it help to talk it through?
I think we've all felt like that and wished we could be someone else who had a charmed life who just sailed along without a care in the world but life isn't like that. You are a very special person and the world is a far better place because you are in it.
It was silly really, I was having a bit of a crappy evening, my boiler is on the blink at the moment and I couldn't get hot water to wash the pots for the umpteenth time, then a shelf randomly collapsed in one of the cupboards (same thing happened a few days ago in a different cupboard) so I was a tad stressed when my fiance came home. Tried to tell him what was going on and he jokingly said "so you've broken the other shelf now" of course in my messed up state of mind I thought he was having a go at me so I got a bit snappy, this caused L to get mad at him too (he's not her real dad and she tends to stand up for me if she feels like he's upsetting me, which is good but she took it too far today) so he got upset and said he felt like we were ganging up on him and he went home (he lives 2 doors down from me, we share a back garden) even after I apologised for taking what he said the wrong way and getting my back up about it (he did accept my apology and said he loved me but he still left leaving me feeling inadequate) on top of that L decided to bring on the attitude for no apparent reason when I thought after that (and especially now I've explained things to her) she might be more supportive, I know it doesn't sound like much but it just made me feel really low to the point where I was thinking me and the fiance should take a break because I'm just no good for anybody right now
None of that sounds silly to me at all! We're redoing our kitchen at the moment and it's total chaos. Today I've dropped a cupboard, smashed a glass and broken my previously really easy to break toe - my husband and son have taken the P massively... Some days it's ok and some it's not. I totally understand....
BUT you are more than needed, loved and wanted.... I promise you that.
(panda) sweetheart, it’s not silly if it’s upset you. I just hope that tomorrow is so much better than today for you
How are you today lovely lady?
Like I want to crawl into a hole and not come out again... Roll on Thursday for my doctors appointment! I wish I knew what was happening with my counselling, it feels like it's been such a long time since my telephone appointment
Can you ring about the counselling to find out?
Please don't give up. I understand how down you must feel to say that, but you will get better. I understand how uncontrollable those thoughts are, they come and go. But there the ponit is, when they come, try to remember that eventually they will go as well. Talk to us, we care. And we won't give up on you, and neither should you. I have also wanted to be someone else so badly... But Le dude told me "honey just be your self, every one else is already taken". It was eye opening. Even being me is sorta painful, he still chose to be with me. He ain't stupid, so I gotta be worth it. It goes for you too. We believe in you!
Hey sweetheart, Sissy's Le Dude is right. I know you're struggling right now, but I promise you that you are needed, valued and that you can get through this... (bear) Can you call your Dr and see if there's a cancellation sooner? Call counselling and ask what's happening with that...
I'm feeling a little better now than I was earlier, still not fully myself (although am I ever these days? Sometimes I feel like the depression and anxiety have taken over my body and I'm just watching it go through the motions from somewhere else) had a pleasant chat with my next door neighbour/best friend this evening which we never seem to do anymore (the blame is on both of us, we just don't seem to make the effort any more, really must try to) which helped take my mind off everything, just been a bit out of sorts today as I only saw my fiance very briefly this afternoon, even though everything is sorted now my brain won't let go of it, there's not much point in trying to reschedule my doctors appointment but if I've not heard from the counselling by next week I'll try and ring up
Sounds to me that you need to do a bit of self care. That means things like, eating well, exercising, treating yourself, not beating yourself up etc (Mind have a great leaflet with lots of tips. https://www.mind.org.uk/media/461661...ssion-2016.pdf
I know we haven’t known you long but it seems to me that you rarely put yourself first and you never think you’re good enough. If that’s true, can you try to challenge those thoughts?
I completely agree with Paula. In fact she's said everything I was going to...
You are absolutely right, I never put myself first and I haven't been taking proper care of myself for a while, it's not like I don't want to I just struggle to get back into a routine once I've fallen out of it, I'm considering treating myself today when I pass through Manchester later, just haven't decided what that treat might be yet!
What things do you like? Even something like nice bath stuff and then a long soak in the bath is self care -or go and wander round the shops or get a coffee or something....
I would love to have a bath but we only have a shower! I might just have a wander around the shops and grab a nice coffee, I might get a new book or something
Treat your self with something you love. I got myself a book too, and I found it a great gift for myself. You deserve your gift!
Sitting in a coffee shop with a book always feels indulgent to me :)
I have my doctors appointment this morning so hopefully I get something sorted, I read for an hour last night before bed, it felt good :)
I am really happy for you. Reading is great, and I hope your appointment brings something helpful to your life
Good luck at the docs CG.
Hope it goes well lovely, don't forget to let us know how it goes...
How’d it go?
I didn't want to clog up my summer adventure thread with this so started a new thread. My doctor is lovely, very friendly, helpful and understanding (I've already forgotten his name though and he wants to see me again in 2-4 weeks) he's put me on sertraline 50mg so now it's just a case of wait and see how it goes, I feel so much better now I've done it though and I know I'm one step on the road to recovery :)
Yes, you're on the road to recovery. The next time you see him will be much easier. The only way is up now CG, well done.
Yay for the big step!
That’s fab! Well done :)
Well done CGirl :)
We'll done for picking up the phone, making the appointment AND turning up. Not just that, you shared your struggles and asked for help. That is all major major stuff. Proud of you. X
Well my appointment was about 20minutes late so I very nearly turned and legged it out of there! I am glad I managed to stick it out though, just hope these tablets work. Thanks everyone for your kind words and support :)