Newbie here (hi!) pregnant & figuring things out!

Umm, hi all!
Feeling slightly weird posting as I've only just this morning figured that my feelings (or lack of them!) of the last 4 years or so could be perhaps linked with depression, I'm not sure! I've not seen my GP or anything, I'm just scouring the internet trying to link things together in my own head.

So, I'm a mum of 1 & I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with num 2 which has bought everything to light I think. I am racked with guilt as unlike my 1st pregnancy I feel nothing, no excitement, no joy, nothing. I of course love my eldest child but I feel nothing else & looking back haven't done since not long after he was born 4 years ago. I plod along in my life pretty much emotionless, faking my 'usual happy self' to friends and family but inside not feeling any gratification from anything, I almost wish I felt sad instead of this nothingness.
My husband gets the brunt, I know he's a great guy but I seem completely unable to let him know that, like I'm purposely pushing him to leave me alone, ugh. I'm a closed person as it is so find it difficult to open up which my husband struggles with, but the last few years have made it even worse and our relationship's strained as he feels unloved but I feel unable to show him love for reasons I don't really understand myself so can't explain to him!

Anyways, I'm waffling! Hi! Look forward to perhaps getting to know some of you (hi)

Hi and welcome to DWD.

First things first, you MUST talk to your GP about how you’re feeling. Scouring the Internet cannot and should not replace medically trained advice, particularly as you’re pregnant. Please make an appointment, as soon as possible to talk about what’s wrong and what help you need.

What is not always known is that post natal depression can start up to 18 months after childbirth and can last for years. Also, a pregnant woman can also suffer from depression (as I did). If this is what you’re struggling with there are options for treatment, including antidepressants that can be taken safely in pregnancy. Support is invaluable, too, so please talk to your partner, perhaps taking what you’ve posted here as a start.... Ask your partner to go to the doctors with you - he’ll be able to add more information that will help your doctor, and it’s important to have someone with you. And the support you'll get here is invaluable, so keep talking :)

Hi and welcome! I'm sorry your post was moderated so you wouldn't have seen Paula's reply and no one else would have seen yours - no idea why - Sorry!

Sweetheart I promise you that you aren't alone in feeling how you are. It's so important to go and speak to your GP or your midwife if they are approachable?

Please talk to someone. I've been where you are. My daughter was 3 when I was diagnosed with post natal depression and it took a good while to get my meds right.
Show your post to your doctor or midwife and go from there.

Thanks so much for your replies both of you!! I'll book an appt with my GP - I guess I've been a tad reluctant to bother him if it's just a bit of stress or something, but it's been quite a while now, I think it's probably time :s I can be guilty of being a bit stubborn but this pregnancy has been the switch & I'm worried about feeling worse when little one comes along! X

3! Thanks Magie06, that's so helpful to know!!! My little boy has just turned 4 and when I look back I can definitely see a change in myself from when he was at least 1, probably earlier but I assumed PND was when they were little babies X

I've merged your posts as it's easier ;)

I had PND with each of my 3. I promise you that you won't be the first - or sadly the last - woman to feel the way you are... Write a bullet point list or print out what you have said here and take that with you.. If when you call you are asked if it's urgent say YES.
I don't know if you follow us on facebook, but I recently posted a brilliant video by a GP who had PND herself about going to your own GP and talking to them.
https://www.facebook.com/PerinatalMH...175425689/?t=1