In a dark place...Again *AB TRIGGERS*

I feel like I’m crazy :(
Honestly this is so exhausting and my head is everywhere.
I was doing fine until all of this transpired; now it has triggered everything again. I'm constantly depressed and feel miserable but numb at the same time, if that makes sense?
Well...If a parent’s mental health comes into it then I’m not entirely sure. I have personally seen two friends in my area who are wonderful mothers, lose their children because they had depression and/or PTSD. They were so afraid to go and ask for help ever again after that. They said they felt targeted and scrutinised the whole time, even though they did everything they were supposed to do. Their children were removed from their custody and place with either family, or put into the care system which is so disgusting and incredibly unfair for mother and child. I know these Mums did not once neglect their children! They were the centre of their world; they didn’t drink, barely went out (unless it was work or with the kids), and they were still targeted. That’s in my area.
I’m scared it will happen to me too. She’s manipulating my family...If my family speak against me to SS then the chance is very high that SS will intervene. They’re so horrible around here :( I don’t know why

Where abouts are you? Is there a support group you could join?

South of England. I’m pretty much “in the sticks” as people say.
No I have looked but there’s nothing in my area and I can’t travel far :(

Would it help if you let your mum help you? I just thinking of two things - 1. Family support is invaluable when you’re bringing up kids alone and 2. If at any point SS do get involved, seeing you have a support structure around you will make a huge difference.

I'm in the South too, there are things around, but it can be difficult to find them. Do you go to Church or anything? What about work? New friends?

I’m not religious so no church for me. I don’t have many friends due to what I mentioned in my main post...
I do work, yes.

My Mum doesn’t live near me; there are 26 miles between us :(
I had to move away after everything that happened, I just couldn’t deal with being there. I’m not bringing up my kids alone; I do have their father. We are together (again, after recently taking some time apart. Nothing happened exactly, we just weren’t communicating very well but we are working on it now), so I am not alone in that sense.

Have you talked everything over with him? What does he say about it all?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shadesofpurple

I’m not religious so no church for me. I don’t have many friends due to what I mentioned in my main post...
I do work, yes.

My Mum doesn’t live near me; there are 26 miles between us :(
I had to move away after everything that happened, I just couldn’t deal with being there. I’m not bringing up my kids alone; I do have their father. We are together (again, after recently taking some time apart. Nothing happened exactly, we just weren’t communicating very well but we are working on it now), so I am not alone in that sense.

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I’ve been ill enough in the past to need hospitalising in a psychiatric hospital. My kids at the time were 7 and 3. But there was never any suggestion of SS being involved and my psychiatrist made it very clear to me that she never thought my kids were at risk, especially as I had a very supportive husband. Just because you have depression, lovely, does not mean your children are at risk or that SS will get involved.

Yes I have talked to him and he supports me.
Sorry but we’re veering off topic here...My original post was about the people who have hurt me.
I don’t know how we got on to me “needing” medication which I don’t want to take ever again because it made me very unwell and didn’t work, or having more therapy. I don’t want more therapy.
I’ve tried so many over the years and I’m always given up on. I’m tired of having therapy that doesn’t help either; the problem is these people who have hurt me. They should be in therapy, not me!
The way they behave is abnormal.
Of course I have talked to people around me! But I don’t like to do it too much because I don’t like to feel like a burden which people in my past made me feel like I am.

Can we please stick to the original topic in my main post?
I have stated where I stand on meds and therapy and talking to people already. Nothing is working. I’m just repeating myself at this point.
The problem is how people have made me feel all over again!

Also in regards to SS, as I mentioned before, where I live, they do and have taken children away from their mothers due to mental illness and they weren’t at risk at all; I know these women well and I know they loved and looked after their children so well; not neglected, clean and healthy etc, always loved and played with. Children were polite etc, but just because their Mummy had ptsd from an incident years before they were born I one case, they were removed from her care and it has destroyed them.
These Mums have been told if they have any more children either, they’ll be taken away too which is absolutely vile.
And one of these also had a supportive partner. I think it depends on the SS in your area.
I don’t know. But around here they are notorious for going after any woman with a mental illness even if she’s a fantastic mother, or targeting women just because they grew up in care - like that’s their fault!?
So I don’t believe for a second that SS won’t target me too. I do not trust them around here.
I will steer as far away as possible from them.