partner of 18 yrs left - depression *SU Trigger*
Patner of almost 18 years was diagnosed with depression a few months ago, is on medication and is seeing a councellor. I had no idea anything was wrong until he woke up one day and told me to leave and that he no longer wanted to be with me, no other explaination, just silent treatment so I left and went to stay with family, we kept in touch via whatsapp and after talking he said he felt the only way to deal with his derpession was to deal with it alone. we spoke of ways I could help when he felt that way, such as me sleeping in the spare room for a few days so he had some space etc, I ended up going back to him after i thought we had it figured out.
When I got back everything seemed normal, we went for a weekend away, got back home and two days later he has done it again, literally woke up and told me to leave once again, he refused to talk it through just that he wanted to be on his own.
He is saying stuff like he is empty and hollow inside and feels like pushing the people closest to him away. He has this huge need inside of him to be alone and go through all this himself. That he knows people care about him but caring is not going to help him. He feels dead inside. Feels like his brain is going 100 miles an hour with constant thoughts. He hates himself and thinks he is a bad person. Not sleeping much and when he does he wakes very early. Cant stop his mind from racing.
He has deleted all his social media and interacts with nobody apart from having to go to work.
I have tried to be as understanding as possible as i am aware it must be terrible going through depression but i also feel like how i feel means nothing. For example i asked him if i gave him time to try and feel better and get his head together with us living apart i am willing to do that because i do not want to lose him and i dont want to split up over him being ill. He says things like i will be better without him. That i will go on to meet someone else and be happy in time. That he will not agree to me waiting for him as he doesnt want to give me false hope.
Is there a chance for us in the future if i give him time? I love and miss him so much.
