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This isnt a joke or one liner but is hilarious IMHO;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGS_C...e_gdata_player
(rofl)
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Plus here's one for the girls....
In my next life..
In this life I'm a woman
In my next life.
I'd like to be a bear....mm....(mm)
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT .
Before you hibernate you're supposed to eat yourself stupid
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT
When you're a girl bear.
You birth children (who are the size of
walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown
cute cuddly cubs.
I COULD DEFINITELY DEAL WITH THAT
If you are a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line,you swat them too.
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat
YUP GONNA BE A BEAR!!!!! (grin)
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That sounds good to me Amaeru!
Was going to put Stewart Francis on too Jarre but each one had a joke that would have caused it to be removed:s & Tim Vine but I got a sore thumb by then(happy)
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I wanna be a bear!!!!! (rofl)
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I can act like one with a sore (mooning) at times;)
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Good medical advice
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ..
Fasting is good for health
&
may the good Lord cleanse your dirty mind..
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I follow a guy on Twitter who tweets some awesome one-liners. Here's a sample:
Do your clothes smell of Jedi? Must be body Yoda.
My friend thinks he's a traffic island. He broke the news to me yesterday - in a roundabout way.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chicken doubt.
Mum used to make us drink Milk of Amnesia. I forget why.
:)