When is it gonna be my turn?

I'm sorry to hear that Stella (bear)

You know me by now, I’m the least important person in any equation.

Oh sweetheart I'm sorry about your cousin...
First things first, you need to let yourself grieve love... Then you can tackle the other things. Maybe ask the friends who are leaning on you to take a step back just for a few days, make a start on having a shower, then start washing up etc but bit by bit....

It’s not like we were especially close or anything but growing up I spent so many school holidays down south with them. Since the issues with the family after my dad died it made my brothers funeral awkward but the moment I walked in he was so nice to me, even said he was looking forward to seeing me as it had been so long and he’d missed me. Quite possibly bs but still it was nice that he took the effort to try and make the day a bit easier by being so kind. We even discussed the whole Covid 19 thing as it was still new to this country at that point and had the opinion that is you get it you get it. Yes he was high risk as a diabetic and due to previous experimental medical procedures 30 yrs ago he found out after a stroke before Christmas that part of his brain was literally dead due to arteries being thinned and limited blood flow. I think in a way the fact that he was still going, all things considered, he didn’t think a mutated flu bug would take him down. Is death has brought this whole issue so close to home and is so much scarier as a result. I’d been keeping myself calm by looking at the stats in a positive way and that common sense will prevail but when something bad happens to someone you know it becomes personal. Since October I’ve lost an uncle brother and a cousin. In a way I kinda wish I was next so I don’t have to deal with anymore loss.

You've been through a lot love.. I bet you are nearing yourself up and not being kind to you either.....

Who me!? Never lol

Can you try to get some rest tonight and try to sort things out in your head tomorrow?

Maybe you need to be trying to be kind to you?

I knocked up a paracord key ring for a friend in him football teams colours, had an hour long video chat with some of the Aspie crew and indulged heavily in Marvel movies this evening. Swooning over Thor as I type this. So yeah, I have been doing my best to just chill out but body and mind don’t always sit on the same page. Maybe you’re right Magie and I should try and get some sleep now and worry about stuff tomorrow.

You’ve suffered a lot of grief recently - whether your cousin was especially close or not, he was family and it still hurts. I know your instinct is to do as many things as possible to distract, but if you push yourself too far you will crash. Please try to take it easy over the next few days, make sure you take a Talia out for her daily walks and get some fresh air, and try to eat sensibly