Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*

Good evening to all!

How I wish to wake up one day, look in the mirror and realize there are no problems anymore, there are no depression moods, no failures, no physical illness...

I think everybody comes through this, but sometimes it seems tougher than ever.

Ok, I have PCOS, my things are getting better and my treatment finally works, but it's so slowly. Last year I had a sudden and positive change, but things are not getting fast. I am on the point of losing my faith and patience.

I am very close to 30 and I've got hysterical. Every time I think about how little time I still have in order to build a good relationship or open marriage ( I'm not dreaming of marriage, just about a good partner and friend) and have children ( at least one, while I consider two). But now my illness still doesn't allow this, I am still in not so good shape and not exactly able to bear children due to medical reasons. There are moments when I get crazy and just thinking about enough time to manage everything. And I could not start an affair with any man, he should be man in my taste and close friend. I am feeling miserable and start to think what my life will be without becoming mom and wife. There are "wiser" women who can live with men they don't really like and have children in order to get a hand of help in their older years, but I just could not do this.

Such a question is rising in my head:" What is the oldest age a woman can safely give birth to a child?"

I like planning and getting all things on time but this time I am not exact master of my wishes. On good side, I am not lost case and my medication is working. But not a day goes by without thinking what I would have achieved if there wan't this cursed illness on my way.



All these reasons make my depression a harder pillow to swallow.

(bear) I hope this gives you hope but my friend has pcos, was told she wouldn't have children and now has 2 boys. Hunni you have plenty of time to meet someone you could spend your life with and have a child with. But these things aren't able to be planned, they happen when the time is right. And tomorrow may be that day - you never know x

My Mum was over 40 when she had my little brother.... There is still time hunni..

Thank you for replies, it is really a great support to me.

How are you doing today?

A little better.

Hi Selena. I also have PCOS. I am now post menopause. When I was twenty seven I married my husband. We tried for eight and a half years to have children. I was unable to ovulate without help. My eggs were too small to be fertilised and not viable to conceive a child. If you don't ovulate then you will be unable to have a child naturally. At thirty six I had IVF a single cycle on the NHS. I am now the Mother of a seventeen year old. I have suffered with hyperstimulation because of the PCOS. I nearly died. It can be done but IVF/ICSI might be the only way to become pregnant naturally. Best of luck xx

Glad you are feeling even a little better hun x

I really identify with feeling like you're always in a race against time to reach a place where you can have all of the normal, good things in life. For me a wife, home, and a purposeful living. For a long time now I've felt that I've lost that race. Maybe feeling that way is part of the problem - always feeling it's just that one extra push away. But if it helps, my sister-in-law is 36 and having her first child.

My mum was 41 when I was born.