Feeling lost and I have fear of new changes

Hello buddies! First of all, I found this forum in Internet and English is not my mother tongue, so forgive me for some mistakes. I'm 29 years old girl and I'm unemployed since 1year and half (my boss closed the company) I've always been ambitious girl. Unfortunately, I lost my goals and focus on my life. I'm planning to move in another country, but I have fear of new changes, new culture and new languages. I know that a man grow up when overcome fears, but i know that I will failure again. And i don't know how to get unstuck. I've lost my friends, cuz some of them already have babies, get married and so on. And decided to stop communicating with them. I have very strict mother that she said I've never been married and never have children.I have a boyfriend but she doesn't know about anything for him. We have a distant relationship. And my heart is broken. Nobody supports me - neither my family, neither my friends, neither my boyfriend. I hate my mother - sorry to say that, but it's true. We've lost our relationship between mother-dauther, cuz she lives and works abroad and we see each other only for 2-3 months per year.
Sometimes i hate myself... a lot! And I want to be again ambitious girl with goals for life. But I don't know how! Next month I'm planning to get away, but I'm so scaring.
Any way, thanks for reading!

And many years ago my mom said that she doesn't love me and laugh at me that i don't have a job. And when I was a child I had low self-esteem thanks to my mom. Unfortunately, as an adult I also has low self-esteem and this is the main reason why I have fear of new changes and don't belive in my strenghts.

Hi, Jane and welcome (hi). Where are you from? Where are you planning to move to? What is it you’re worried about failing at? Is your boyfriend a decent man? Sorry for all the questions ....

Hi Paula (hi) I'm from Bulgaria (East Europe) I'm planning to move to Austia, because I have a friend there. I'm worried to failure, because I was unemployed twice and my german is not so good. Yes, my boyfriend is a decent man, but he is very indecisive for new changes.

Hi and welcome! Your English is more than good enough and you haven't made mistakes!
What is it that you do for work? Are there more opportunities in other places? Do you still live with your Mum?