My husband has left me

my husband has gone to his mums as he says his feelings have changed for me and I really don't know what to do. He told me 2 weeks ago that his feelings had changed and he didn't think he loved me anymore, this was totally out of the blue. We both got upset and he left but we met up later and talked and he said he just feels like everything is on top of him and he can't cope anymore. After talking for a few hours he came home with me and the next few days were great. We talked, he apologised and said that he did love me, then a week later he said it again. He decided he needed space and went to his mums 2 days later. He went to the doctors who gave him some forms and asked him to go back on Monday as he was quite distressed so couldn't assess him properly? This doctors visit is tmrw. We met up last night for an hour as I wanted to tell him how I felt. I do believe he is suffering depression as all this is totally out of character for him. I spoke about all the help and things we could do as I've done nothing but read about depression since he left on Thursday but he just didn't seem to be listening. He was emotionless and vacant. He didn't even ask about his 12 year old stepson who he has raised since he was a year old. I just don't know where to go from here? Do I give him space? Do I tell him I want him to come home so we can work this out together? My head is a mess and I don't know what to do. I love him so much and don't want to throw away the last 10 years, please help.

I think once he sees his doctor you'll get an idea of what you're working with. It may be a good idea for him to have some talking therapy and if he's receptive to it perhaps couples therapy? Although it wouldn't be a good idea to do both at the same time and he could need time to work through some stuff by himself- with the help of his doctor or a therapist. It's really difficult to give advice as we don't know yours or your husband's situation. We can only signpost routes that may be able to offer help. Perhaps you could speak to Relate as I'm sure they'll have experience of your situation. It can often be more difficult for men to come to terms with depression as society puts pressure on them to be macho and the strong one of the couple. It can also be difficult to put effort into your relationship when you're depressed or care for others who may be dependent on you, such as children/friends/parents. It can make you become very insular which I know is difficult for loved ones to deal with. It can also be very hard to accept that your are depressed, especially if you don't know why you are. It's clear you love him and hopefully you'll get some help yourself in how to assist him through this.

Thank you. I do love him, dearly. I just don't know how to help him whilst he's not with me. I will try absolutely anything. Up until this a week or so ago we were the perfect couple. Hardly ever argue, everything was normal, this is why it's so hard to understand

http://www.relate.org.uk/relationshi...ommon-problems You can have a free online chat with one of their advisors. Might be worth a go.

Hi and welcome.
You can write him a letter where you just tell him how you feel and then he can read it and reread it as much as necessary...
Also think you have to let him take some control - it's brilliant that he's got an appointment - you could ask if he wanted you to go with him?

Also is there any way where you can sit down and chat? It must be a confusing time and difficult. Perhaps go out for a meal and see how he really feels. I do hope things work out for you both.