How do you cope? ** SA Trigger warning**

I know I'm probably making things worse for myself and people are probably going to tell me to speak to my GP or other half etc but it's just not something I feel I can do...not right now anyway.
Sometimes I can get through the days ok'ish and sometimes it takes all my energy to get through the day.
Even something as simple as putting a pizza on for the children yesterday seemed too much (obviously I did it...I'm not, not taking care of them) it just took a lot to get up and do it.
I had a bad night last night after watching a pretty graphic rape scene which wasn't expected, it was just before bed so my other half didn't notice it upset me, I just told him I was tired.
What can I do for myself.

Hi,
I've added a Trigger warning as you talk about a graphic rape scene which could easily trigger other members - it just alerts them to be able to make informed decisions.

You are obviously struggling with so much and it's obviously getting more difficult to deal with it as it's having an impact on you that you do need to find a way to get some help. This could be through talking therapy or through medication or both. I know how hard it is, but even just printing out some of what you've said here etc could help you to get the help you need....

Tell your husband love. He obviously loves you and knows that there is something up, telling him would be better than him thinking something else entirely....

Sorry, didn't think to add a warning

My other halfs mum is a nurse, we get on pretty well and a few months ago, it came to light that she had been sexually abused as a child. I sometimes think of telling her...but I know she would tell other half, so I'm reluctant plus I don't know what kind of memories it would bring back for her.
Other half didn't even show any kind of reaction when his mum told him.

That's ok...

Why not tell her? Ask her not to tell him if you aren't ready. She'll have understandings...