New here / a bit lost *SU*

Hi,
I am new here to this site which I found via facebook.
This may seem pretty straight forward about the advice that I'm looking for but here goes:

I have had mental health issues since I was a very young child which only grew and grew and I am now in my 30s.
I am diagnosed with ASD, Depression, OCD, Anxiety and so on.
I also have physical problems.
I have been feeling suicidal for at least 19 years to which my psychiatrist, GP and mother (who is my carer) only know a small bit about.
My problem is with each passing day/week/month it gets harder and harder not to go through with it and I do want to be truthful and tell my Psychiatrist/GP about how I am feeling but I don't want anything to change (I have my own house and I am awarded both PIP and ESA). I also want (if possible) to keep my mother out of it, which is hard as she is my carer and is involved in every aspect of my life... but I think this would be too much for her.
Do I really just bite the bullet (correct term?) and let everyone know or keep it to myself and try my best like I have been doing.

Any advice is greatly appreciated (nod)

Hi, hunni, and welcome. I’m going to ask just one simple question. Has not talking about this for 19 years helped you to deal with your intrusive thoughts? I’m guessing not, in which case surely telling someone is worth a try? For the record, I absolutely believe that it’s vital to talk your doctor and your loved ones. As for your mum, I know I was devastated when I found out my daughter was struggling and that she hadn’t felt she could talk to me. I think your mum would much rather know so you can work through it together.

Sweetheart, I know it feels so hard right now but there’s is always a way through. Talking to those around you can help with finding that path (bear)

Hi Myershad (hi) keeping things to yourself rarely works and it is surprising how easier things can become when you start talking about your problems/thoughts with other people whether that is family, friends, GP or counsellor.

Hi and welcome to DWD.
I'm sorry, I don't know why your post was auto moderated, but I've sorted that for you now.

Not talking hasn't helped, so maybe letting others in might? I also am very sure that your Mum is already worrying about what she thinks might be going on and I promise you it's always easier to deal with fact and not speculation. She's your Mum. She obviously loves you. Talk to her.

Hi, just popped in to say nice to meet you.

Thanks everyone.
I am going to do my best to let them know.. I just don't know if I have the courage.
Once it's out in the open.. there's no going back :x

But it being out in the opening means you can get the treatment you need...

If you aren't sure you can say the words out loud, you could always print out your posts from here to show them

You could always print out what you've written here? Lol, just seen that's what Jaq's suggested too! :) If you don't tell them everything you aren't giving them all the pieces for them to be able to help you...