No trust anymore

Hi, so I had been dealing with things well and my situation seemed to be improving. Outside professionals seemed to be putting the things into place for my employer to take control of the situation and sort things for me to help me get back to work.

How wrong/naive you can be!!

Turn up for a meeting at work which I was led to believe was a 1:1 with the Head to discuss my job description. If spoken to my union and reassured then that I had been told it was a 1:1 and to make things fair I would go by myself. WRONG!!! I turn up and the head says I thought you would have your rep with you and I said why when it's just a 1:1. She took me to her office for me to find HR are in the room. No-one told me this. I panicked and sat down in complete bewilderment. I said I was told it was a 1:1 and if I'd known I'd have brought my union rep with me. HR said they had contacted my union and left a message saying that they would be in attendance and would my rep like to attend and my rep didn't get back to them.

What the he'll is this!!! I want to get things sorted to go back to work. There was no offer of me getting a colleague into the room either. I'm sat down, there are students in the corridor outside I'm panicking, I'm anxious and I'm stressed but I cannot move and I have obviously said at some point that I am ok to go ahead with the meeting!!!

Supposedly the meeting went well and I did manage to get some of my points across. We even discussed my phased return which again I just did to please them.

So now why am I feeling I have gone completely backwards, I feel completely useless, I obviously can't say what I need to say or want to say. I stop myself from saying things in case I offend them. Why am I protecting everybody else but not myself. I came home and cried for hours and then began to think that my life is not worth living and I'm probably better off dead as it seems like the only thing that will stop me feeling like this. Thankfully, I phoned my mom to come and sit with me as I knew it would be better if I wasn't on my own at this really low point.

Why would anybody treat someone like this when they're feeling like this. I don't understand anymore.

I don't trust my employer anymore!!! I don't trust HR anymore. I had to listen to some lies being told to me and not be able to do anything about it. Why would I trust someone who lies and why would I trust someone who misleads.

Really not sure what to do but work are now expecting me in on Monday for half a day. I'm not going in that day and just waiting for my union rep to get back to me.

I’d suggest you sit down and calmly try to note everything that was said in that meeting, as much as you can. Then go through it with your union rep and ask if you should be making a complaint

I have spoken to my union today. But they have said that due to my condition I am probably over thinking things and they don't think they did anything maliciously on purpose.

What is the point anymore?

Just got to suck it up I think. Obviously my feelings and my illness don't come into any consideration anymore.

Is there any chance that might have had some impact? Which is why I think it’s a good idea to write it down and get It all out itms

I think you should definitely write down as much as you can remember as you can and I think you should check whether your union got that message and why they didn't act on it.

I have written it all down. Going to try and have a few days to myself and do my best not to think of it too much. Hoping we don't get too much of this white stuff as I have a meal booked for Saturday. Thank you for the advice again guys. I really wasn't ready for this knock back and it certainly took me by surprise.

Well done lovely...