Trapped in depression

Hello, I'm new here and decided to tell someone what I really fell...
I'm suffering from severe depression and anxiety, I was off from work for couple months and taking citalopram.
Now I come back to work because when I was off it was even worse...
I didn't want to tell anyone what's probably true cause of my problems.. because the problem is my wife... We have meet almost 9 years ago and we are married for almost 7 years.. we have 2 kids (5 and 1,5).

Everything started to be bad couple years ago, and since then it's worse every year. I really have enough... But I feel that I'm trapped with all that situation tied with childcare, mortgage etc and after all I see just one solution to all that problems...

She know that I'm not happy, because I have told her many times about it but she simply don't care. In her opinion it's all my fault... Wheel of hatred spinning all the time, I'm completely sucked from any motivation, any positive energy when I'm in home... And only help that I get from her is shouting every day how lazy I am, why I don't clean house etc...

I want to end this horror.... I constantly thinking about leaving house and not coming back... Just drive as far as I can..

Hi and welcome. I’m sorry things are so tough right now. Have you considered having any sort of relationship counselling? Please don’t leave without going back, your children need you .....

Relationship counseling is not an option, she thinks everything is ok on her side and I'm the problem....

It is possible to have relationship counselling on your own. I’ve done that when my first marriage broke up, it really did help me move forward

Hi and welcome to the group. I'm sorry that things aren't great for you. In what way is it an issue with your wife?

I am so sorry to hear you are going through rough time. I think you could really se some counceling, if not as a couple, at least for yourself. You deserve to get help and support, and you are worth it.

Welcome to DWD.

Counseling may be the answer because it's not just for couples.