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"The meds I've tried haven't really worked. There's only paroxetine which has reduced the urge to self-harm and the suicidal thoughts"
"Have you ever thought it could be your personality? Some people find no antidepressants at all work because of their personality."
I kid you not!
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What?? Ffs!!
And, I’m sorry, but any self harm is self harm. I’m really angry for you :@
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According to her, because I didn't need medical attention, it isn't proper self harm. Though she was debating between using proper self harm and superficial self harm.
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That's outrageous! I'm furious for you! Go back to your GP and tell them what was said, then call PALS and tell them too. That's horrific.
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She said I was angry and defensive and had a huge wall up. And that they hadn't let me down previously. And medication won't help me as it's issues that need to be worked out in therapy. I even told her that my counsellor has said that I fully engaged with my counselling. It was only me breaking down completely that got her to agree to ask the nurse prescriber to look at my medication. I'm talking snotty, sobbing, can't talk proper crying. Like I told her, I don't understand why I feel so low at the moment as J makes me genuinely happy and I don't want to wake up feeling disappointed I'm alive for the rest of my life.
In other news, it's 6 months ago today that I reconnected with J and it was him who remembered! So the day wasn't a total washout as I had hugs with him this morning.
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You know, it's a strange thing really. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a reason for the way we feel the way we do. I have a caring husband, nice house, no immediate money worries, have 2 kids and 5 grandkids that are doing well and basically have a life that a lot of others would give their eye teeth to have...so why do I get anxious and feel depressed? I get really disappointed in myself for not being grateful for everything I have. Where is the logic?There is none! Depression doesn't recognise logic, which is why it's not understood by the majority, even some of the professionals who are trained to understand! Just keep getting hugs from J. I love hugs from my big bear. It's when I feel the most safe. By the way, how old is your little niece now? She must be at the really cuddly stage. Awww...(bear)
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I'm so sorry that they treated you like crap again. Do go and see your Dr love and tell them what they said to you....
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She's 7 months now Flo! She's a little bugger, constantly trying to pinch my glasses and last weekend tried sucking my nose! (rofl)
I feel safest when I'm with J, have done since day one. He will never let me give up, he keeps me going some days when I just want to disappear.
Suzi, it's what I expected, except the personality bit was new and really upset me.
I am so chuffed about my assignment score!!!! 92%!!!!! I have never ever had a piece of university level work come close to that before!!!!
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(panda) you know we are always just behind you hun when you need us
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