https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_...ge=en#t-125749
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While we are on the TED talks...
https://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddi...indful_minutes
I love TED talks.
Thanks for the videos. I am trying since month to understand mindfulness and still dont understand how it can help. I have those worrying thoughts, they are constantly here. I then take 10 minutes out of the day.Concentrate on the now and here. For 10 minutes everything is fine and then I am back in reality and the worry is back, because the situation is still the same and problem xyz is not solved.
yeah mindfulness/meditation is a completely different way of being than how we have all been taught, so it's difficult to understand/experience especially at first, if at all! it's not meant to solve problems or change anything (tho it can) but to be with all your thoughts and feelings (positive and negative) without indulging/avoiding or needing to change them etc: which in turn frees you up to act in a way that is supportive to you/others. it is not meant to fix things, but to enable you to be comfortable with uncomfortable. its also about every moment, not just 10 mins a day, tho that's a helpful way to start. it takes a lot of practice and support.
So it's all about accepting positive and negative feelings?
Exactly. there are lots of things in life that you can't change, that you have no control over, If you can learn to accept these things for what they are it can lift a lot of weight from your shoulders
sort of, it's about experiencing all of your feelings and thoughts without attempting to change/ignore them, which can be quite hard to do, as we all attempt to change/ignore things, especially if they feel uncomfortable, which is why support/a teacher is helpful. this doesn't mean you do accept everything or do not change anything, but when you come from a place of not avoiding or indulging etc, your response may (or may not!) be different, because you are clearer about what actions to take, or not to take. all the mindfulness and meditation practices available to us now, come from ancient eastern teachings, and are a way of making these teachings accessible to us western folk. It has helped
me sometimes, but I find it v difficult to do, especially on my own. but any practicing is good!
it's also an experiential rather than intellectual understanding. what happens if you stop
thinking for a moment, what is left; what is present without all the thoughts and descriptions?
I can accept being happy/unhappy, what I find hard is accepting having made mistakes which lead to unhappiness.
Nothing. Thinking and Doing makes us who we are. Not moving means we stop life and evolution.Quote:
Originally Posted by mitz
not moving? it's not about not thinking or doing, but what drives people to think or act in particular ways. it's all about being good to your self and everyone else. there is def still something there if you stop
thinking for a moment, you are still aware, still conscious, still looking; that awareness is still there when you are thinking or not thinking, you just don't always notice it when you are thinking. that awareness is who you are, regardless of the what random thoughts occur; our thoughts are constantly changing and relentless, your awareness is stable and is unaffected by all the thoughts; that's what mindfulness is attempting to recognise.
I'm not saying that is how it is, just that is what mindfulness and meditation tries to teach.
Sam, I find the ,making mistakes, stuff very difficult to sit with too, maybe we cld experiment with meditating with this particular affliction!
How?.Quote:
Originally Posted by mitz
let the thoughts come, practice being aware of them, rather than getting lost in all the descriptions of them, there's a difference, bring yourself back to this awareness again and again, whatever thoughts come and go. experiment, see what happens?
awareness of what?Quote:
Originally Posted by mitz
crying, being upset, hateQuote:
Originally Posted by mitz
Sam,it's difficult to describe the awareness bit, as it is something you experience, rather than describe, but it is your awareness, your conciousness, what is looking from your eyes, what is feeling, hearing, seeing, something beyond your thoughts, but not separate to them either. people call it different names. some people use metaphors to make it easier to understand; like a crystal ball or the sky is your awareness, and the reflections/clouds are the thoughts that come and go, your awareness is always there, consistent, stable, but not always always noticed, so it is about getting familiar and recognising this. if it is something you are interested in exploring further it is a good idea to find a teacher/class to help you get familiar and have some support. I hardly get it myself, it's easier for me to describe than do, especially with very afflictive states. it's easier to start practising using the happier or more neutral thoughts.
So you are thinking about something during mindfulness, actively choosing what you think about? If I don't do anything, those negative thoughts are so dominant, they are coming instantly, unless I concentrate on something else. Doing mindfulness then means to let them be in my head and torture me?Quote:
Originally Posted by mitz
you can choose what to think, or see what comes, it doesn't really matter, what usually happens is that you realise you don't really have much control about what thoughts come and go. the purpose of mindfulness is not to torture you : ) the purpose is to help you recognise your innate awareness which is ever present, stable (and connected to everything and everyone else) - this is where you find your stability - not in your thoughts which come/go, are dependent on your conditioning/circumstances/education etc - not very reliable, and not your true nature. 'you' are not your thoughts. but your thoughts help you recognise this awareness, you wouldn't be able to recognise it without your thoughts. it is scarey to sit with difficult thoughts without trying to 'do' something with them (change/resist/avoid etc), but this is where a teacher/class is important to guide and support you. if you want to explore it further, i would definitely recommend you find a good teacher, as it isn't really something you can do on your own.
The easiest mindfulness process I found was to focus on the sensations on each part of my body, bit by bit. For instance, how does the chair you're sitting on feel against your back. If other thoughts come in, you acknowledge them and then let them go while you're back to focussing on the chair on your back itms
Reading your posts, it sounds like everybody sees mindfulness different. As Paula describes it, it's all about distraction and concentrate on the here and now. Mitz, I am really trying to understand what you want to explain, but it's to abstract for me. Let's say my innate awareness right now is self hate. So I am suppose to accept that and just sit with it? I don't think thoughts are just coming and going. We choose what we think, our thoughts are triggered by what ever goes on around us.
Ok, it's going to be different for everyone the same way depression is different for everyone but it is basically about being in the present, making yourself aware of what is happening and not judging it, just let it be.
I'll always thought that recovery from depression was all about timing. You can have someone tell you a million times the things you need to do to change but if you aren't ready to change it won't happen. Mindfulness backs that up for me and allows me to say yes I know this situation is not good or these thoughts are unhelpful right now but that's ok cos that's how I feel right now, that's a choice I have made and when I'm ready to move on and make a different choice I can and that is ok too.
I think what mindfulness does is what CBT is often trying to do, which is to help us recognize our patterns of thought that can be like habits we have learned, including such thoughts and feelings as self-hate. The difference is that it is done through directly experience rather than writing things down. Like mitz says it is experiential. Just doing this can help us to see that these thoughts and feelings do indeed come and go. Instead of fighting them, we try to acknowledge them with compassion towards ourselves, then gently bring our attention back to a point of focus in the here and now, which is typically just watching the breath without doing anything special. You try to feel it directly, such as the rise and fall of your belly, from the inside rather than thinking about doing it. The "body scan" meditation Paula describes involves much the same, but the attention moves through the body, and is excellent for grounding in our psychical self, where we are just "being" rather than the constant "doing" of our thoughts, if that makes sense!
I am letting those thoughts come and go since month. not fighting them. I am tired of feeling sad. Maybe mindfulness is not the right thing for me, or I am doing something wrong, which is more likely.
Hunni, mindfulness is not something you get straight away, it takes practice. Can you talk to your dr and see if there is something in place to refer you to someone who could help you train in it? Alternatively, I found Headspace good https://www.headspace.com and there's a free trial
For me one of the things I am particularly brilliant at (and in some contexts its really necessary others it isn't) is over-analysis.
For me living in the moment and my approach to mindfulness has some of the seven steps prayer in it. That is the bit around accepting what we can and cannot influence. Part of that for me is how I respond to failure. It is not always my fault. Sometimes it is, when it is I need to make the conscious decision to try again. That sounds really easy I know it isn't. I am trying to change my wiring and feelings to make me see positives where I think there are none but also to embrace the negatives and move on. I struggle with this every day.
Part of it is the listing (either in your head or on paper) of the positive things. Thinking that way forces you to see the positives within a day. No matter how small they are. I will tackle that pile of ironing thats been sitting there is going to be one of mine. Posting here and reading is a positive for me too.
What I have written probably makes no sense.
ahh sam, you are not doing anything wrong. the frustration about being sad, is another thought, so you observe this too. the frustration of 'doing something wrong, or 'not getting it' are also just other thoughts, so you observe these too, without trying to describe or analyse them. i don't mean 'just' in a dismissive way. you just try keep coming back to this again and again, whenever you remember too, there is no pressure. the aim is not to get rid of the thoughts you don't like (annoyingly!), though they might go. the aim of meditation is not to find bliss or happiness (unfortunately!) - or to find a set a circumstances, thoughts or feelings to hold into place, so you don't feel sad, or you don't feel any negative emotions. it is about finding stability within all of the emotions and circumstances that might arise. no, not 'finding' stability, but recognising that you already have that within you, , regardless of what thoughts arise. it is all a bit abstract. I get overwhelmed by my thoughts all the time, though talking about it like this, helps to remind me, for a short while at least. try a meditation class, or chat with your GP about referrals like paula suggested.Quote:
Originally Posted by Samantha340
I think it's for me. I need solutions. Getting rid of hate and anger.
The meditation classes I did focused on letting go of guilt, forgiveness (of yourself and others). The meditation process follows a similar process of the mindfulness body scan.
This is the website for the group the ran the sessions: http://www.sahajayoga.org.uk/
They do free meetings all over the country.
Don't assume you're doing anything wrong. It is hard to know what to do when painful things come up. Recently, some issues came up for me regarding my brother, and I had no choice but to grieve for those things for two days, then I came back to my breathing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Samantha340
It is hard to know whether to stick or twist in these circumstances. But I do know mindfulness is a very sound place to start.