Hoping to find understanding and help
Hi there
I was browsing, saw this site and thought, what the heck, it cant hurt to post something.
Basically, I feel depressed. All the time. And extremely lonely.
I go to work everyday and get on well with my colleagues. I have friends that I see regularly.
But I have no-one close. I divorced some years ago, unfortunately subsequent relationships haven't worked and Ive been on my own for over 2 years.
My family is just my frail mum. She's in her 80's and lives 200 miles away, I try and see her regularly. I have no sisters or brothers, no children of my own. Its just me. I feel that Im living a very solitary life, and I guess that becomes more acute to me over the Christmas period with everyone talking about how they were going to spend it with their families. I felt very jealous of them. I'd like to have a family, people close that I could turn to and talk with. I don't really have anyone close enough that I feel I can talk to and open up with.
Ive just turned 50, and lately my thoughts have turned whether someone will be there for me when I get older. In the last year Ive been recovering from a slipped disc and its made me very aware of how alone I am, not having anyone really that I can ask for help with day to day things. I guess seeing my mum and how frail she's become in recent years I keep wondering what will happen to me when Im her age? Will there be anyone to look after me, or someone I can phone in case I need help.
I just cant shake the feeling that the future feels very bleak, which is feeding my depression. Some days it seems pointless just repeating each day, the same as the one before.
I cant think of anyone else I know in a similar situation. Everyone has either siblings/children/some form of family they can turn to. I don't have anyone.
Is anyone else out there in a similar situation? How do you cope? Who do you talk to?
Ive been to the doctor in the past who doesn't seem too sympathetic and just prescribes pills which I don't want. I cant really afford to see a counsellor on a long term basis. I did try this once for a few weeks but it didn't seem to progress.
Any help or advice you can offer would be really helpful. It would be lovely to have someone to talk to here in a similar position or with understanding.
Thanks all xx
