Struggling to get over someone

It will be a year soon, from the day my ex ended her relationship with me.
I still don't feel any better about it, and I miss her more than ever.
We have remained friends, but she lives in a different country and I don't contact her too often because it just upsets me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I did start seeing someone over Xmas, and we went out for a couple of months but then she ended it and that was that. It hurt but not as much as how much I miss my ex. In fact it just drilled it home to me that she was the only person for me.
5 years we were together, and I don't know if I will ever get over it, it's too much to take.
She was the love of my life and I don't see much point in life without her.
I know they say time is the best healer but a year on and I don't feel any better.

Have you thought about relationship counselling? I went about a year after my first husband left and it was absolutely the best thing I could have done

I agree about counselling. It sounds like you might just benefit hugely from it.

Hi Tom this is an old cliche things do get better with time. I met my now x husband many years ago he was the love of my life, he split up with me after seven years together. It was a very dark time in my life. The crying lasted for a year, the feelings of abandonment were really intense . Antidepressants made feel worse and the tiredness was something else, in fact I fell asleep in front of the fire and woke up with my dressing gown melted on the fire. Three years later I decided enough was enough and decided to move on. Yes I had relationships during those three years but I only did it go numb my pain.

So he walked back in to my life we picked up were we left off got married and had kids. It was the biggest mistake of my life. The trouble was I loved him but he was nothing more than a shallow person. My life was hell, I was left in a huge amount of debt, he mentally , physically and emotionally abused me. He lost our business and nearly my home.

There are times when I have wobbles and I love the person he was when I first met him but now he is a parasitic human being who will have chosen his next victim. How he went from being a nice person to an abuser is beyond me.

This story is not meant to make you feel depressed it's simply to say I have learned some very hard lessons in life.
Ex's are Ex's for a good reason although you don't see it at the moment. Don't be too hard on yourself as everyone grieves in different ways, after all there is no time limit on grief.

I have been on my own for the last six years and I take each day as it comes. All I can say is keep going out, meet new people and make sure you have treat days. I really do understand the pain you have in your heart and it will lessen with each month that passes.

Thanks for your responses, I appreciate every word people write in reply.


It sounds like you did the right thing, Tia. He doesn't sound nice.
Unfortunately my ex is a lovely person, so I can't say otherwise. I guess that's the problem, she's so nice, and I miss that. If she were a bitch I know I'd be well rid of her.

I will think about counselling, I guess it can't hurt. I just hope it doesn't cost much.
I will ask the doctor, I'm due to see him soon to go back on AD's.

Hi Tom counselling through my doctor didn't cost a thing. I really hope you feel better soon. Every night when I got in bed I would write a journal about how I felt . Some of it is not pretty, colourful language and things of that nature. I don't know why it sort of helped me . It's all still under my bed waiting to be made in to a book when the brain fog clears. Big hugs Tom .

Are you keeping a mood diary to keep track of your mood to show your GP?

I'm going through this now so I totally know how you feel. I ended a relationship with the man I absolutely thought was the one for me, because he treated me so badly. I still cry every day over him. He hasn't bothered to contact me, he still has my things at his house - it's horrible. It was a complex relationship but none the less this man meant the world to me and I'm totally destroyed.

I can't say anything to help really other than - others feel as you do. You aren't alone. xx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PurpleNewt

I'm going through this now so I totally know how you feel. I ended a relationship with the man I absolutely thought was the one for me, because he treated me so badly. I still cry every day over him. He hasn't bothered to contact me, he still has my things at his house - it's horrible. It was a complex relationship but none the less this man meant the world to me and I'm totally destroyed.

I can't say anything to help really other than - others feel as you do. You aren't alone. xx

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(panda)

I'm sorry you're struggling, but I'm so proud of you for ending a bad relationship - I know it hurts, but you can and will get through this.