Hello *SH TRIGGERS*

Hello, I'm new here and this is the first time that I've used a forum like this. I've never been very good with expressing myself to people but I'm going to try and give it a go.

I've been struggling with mental health for quite a few years but recently it's been getting more and more difficult to find any hope.Things that should be important don't have any meaning and every negative emotion seems to be amplified.

I moved to a different town last year in hopes that a fresh start would bring me some joy after reaching a low point in my life but in all honesty I think I may have just been trying to run away. Things got worse after that. I'd spend weeks trying to organise my life, trying to tell myself that I could beat this followed by weeks of self hatred, self harm, drinking and surrendering to my negative thoughts.It's as if I'm attempting to climb out of a dark hole and repeatedly falling back into it again.

I reached rock bottom a few days ago. Ever since I got back home everything has felt surreal.
I can barely get myself to leave the house, even things like walking down the road seem more terrifying than they were before. Art and my attempts at writing used to calm me. However, now anything that I try to do frustrates the hell out of me for some reason. I just dont know what to do to make things better.

I feel so alone but I suppose that's noone's fault but my own as I can't bring myself to reach out to anyone. It's as if I don't know how to form sentences when I'm talking to people, even family and people that I used to call my closest friends.
I wish I could form new friendships or communicate with people without feeling scared, awkward and backing out the moment I get the chance. Even writing this online is proving to be a struggle.

If anyone has any stories of hope and would like to share I would really like to hear them. Maybe reading other people's stories will help brighten up my day.

Thank you for taking the time to read, sorry if I went on a bit

Hi and welcome. I've added a trigger warning as you mention self harming. It's nothing to worry about, it's just so people can avoid your thread if it would trigger them.

I'm sorry you're suffering like you are. Have you spoken to your doctor about how you're feeling? Are you on any medication or receiving any talking therapy? Both can really help. Drinking, however, won't as alcohol is a depressant.

Your first step really needs to be talking to your GP, if you'd find that difficult then you could always print out your posts from here to show them. It can get better but you usually need professional help to get there.

Hi and welcome (hi). Considering you don’t think you’re good at expressing yourself, you did a pretty good job here and you didn’t go on at all.
As Jaq says, please see your doctor. I know that seems hard to do, but it will be your first step to wellness. And talking to us will help - chatting to people who understand where you’re coming from makes a huge difference

Hi and welcome! The other ladies have said what I was going to. I know that going to see your GP can seem terrifying, but you could always print out your post(s) from here and hand them over if you feel that talking to them would be too much right now...

Im sorry, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that
I have spoken to my gp and will be going to get a mental health assessment and they've also directed me to a mental health nurse
I've had therapy sessions after being admitted to the hospital but I was never able to open up and eventually stopped going. I want to give it another go as I think that it will help I just don't really have much confidence to get out of the house anymore let alone talk to a therapist, I just don't really know what to do

You absolutely should have mentioned that, lovely, as talking about these things are important. The trigger warning is so others are warned, just in case it’s an issue for them, not a reason to stop talking

Absolutely agree that you should have mentioned it. If it's happening to you it's really important. I'm so glad you've been to see your GP and that things are being put in place to help and support you.

Hello hunny hope you’re okay and you can always message me

Hi Meg, why not start your own thread so we can get to know you?