Joshua, The Overcomer *SU TRIGGERS*

My name is Joshua, I am from the UK, I have been through alot of issues in life and faced alot of adversity. From financial struggles, to being bullied, to mental health issues. I failed all my GCSES at school in year 11 because i wanted to spend more time with my mother. I had a 50% attendance. Most of my grades at school were E grades. I was depressed because i struggled to get a woman to like me. I just couldnt attract women, when i dated girls, i would either would be cheated on or friend zoned. There was no affection in my relationships. I felt like a trophy boyfriend. I would go to public places with "girlfriends" but there was no emotion or feeling in my relationships. It made me depressed. I would overdose on sleeping pills and i started trying to slash my wrists. I would grab a t shirt and wrap it around my neck and really pull on it (like i was hanging myself). I wanted to commit suicide and attempted to.
I could not keep a job for 5 years and kept being sacked because some of my work colleagues hated me, and sabotaged my work, or they made up lies about me.
I faced mental health problems for around 8 years, i heard voices, and was with a mental health team for around 6 years. I was forced to go to a mental institution where i met people that had mental health issues for 3 weeks. They put me on different mental health drugs and monitored my mental health. I still take olanzapine to this day for voices and overthinking, over time i had made progress and things are no where near as bad as they were in the beginning.
I have faced many things in my life that have impeded me from being successful in life but i became very optimistic despite the struggles and took steps to achieve success. I have been offered promotions and pay rises in some of the jobs i have worked. The employment success came later in life.
Spirituality helped me to change my life. I cope with rejection and brush it off. I can get a woman now but i have been so hurt and emotionally abused by women that i dont feel its right to have a relationship. I am not motivated and honesty i prefer being single. Spiritual has really helped me overcome my depression and addictions and changed my life and it has kept me focused on the goals and things that are important.

I "preach" the message that people can overcome because i overcame alot of issues in my life. Alot of the issues i faced were personal issues, issues with myself, but now I am successful in that area and i am making really good progress in my life. I preach positive thinking, it does sounds preliminary and schoolish, but thinking positive starts a chain reaction which in turn can put a person on the path to recovery. I would say that depression is more of a negative mindset than an illness. When you be more optimistic on a situation, and take steps to change the situation in your favour and you persist until you get what you want, nothing can go wrong. Let me know your thoughts and i am happy to take questions.

Ahhh finally, hello Josh. It sounds like you have managed to get your life back on track with the right medical support in place. Depression isn’t just a state of mind, it is a chemical imbalance and the “negative mindset” is a symptom of the illness. Yes I agree that taking positive steps on the road to recovery have to come from the individual but you also have to have the right support to take those steps. People here are all in different situations and at different stages of recovery. For some it is a lifetime condition which is managed by medication. We all need to be mindful of this. Treatment for the illness is not a one size fits all solution and needs to be tailored to the individual. Telling someone to just be positive and you’ll be fixed isn’t helpful. It’s a bit like telling someone with a broken leg to ignore pain and walk it off.

Hi Josh, nice to meet you properly. I am however really horrified that you'd come to a forum and preach that "depression is more of a negative mindset than an illness"! Do you have any idea the harm that could do to any of our members? People who may have spent years and years trying to fight against the stigma? To actually be able to reach out to their dr and health care for help?
Imagine me telling my husband through his first breakdown that "you just need to think positively" or the people who I speak to on a daily basis who are suicidal? Be more spiratual and think positively? That just doesn't cut it.
Depression and mental health are real. They are illness. How dare you insult any of my members or the wider society by telling them it isn't!

No, no, no. I told you on another thread that I have been told, by a psychiatrist, that my illness is purely due to family history and not because of any difficulties in my life. Are you saying you know better than a medical professional?

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Originally Posted by Suzi

Hi Josh, nice to meet you properly. I am however really horrified that you'd come to a forum and preach that "depression is more of a negative mindset than an illness"! Do you have any idea the harm that could do to any of our members? People who may have spent years and years trying to fight against the stigma? To actually be able to reach out to their dr and health care for help?
Imagine me telling my husband through his first breakdown that "you just need to think positively" or the people who I speak to on a daily basis who are suicidal? Be more spiratual and think positively? That just doesn't cut it.
Depression and mental health are real. They are illness. How dare you insult any of my members or the wider society by telling them it isn't!

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I didnt say dont speak to your doctor i always say you should for advice and help. But i have studied illnesses and medication itself can only take a person so far. I said what works for me, it has also worked for alot of people where i am from.
If you have specific mental illness, where do they affect a person, mostly in the mind. I think its more of a offence to call it an illness than to call it a state of mind. Technically its more correct to say that its a state of mind. I didnt say you should completely ignore the doctor but that you should get advice and support from the doctor but also do what works for you on top of that.

For example, think about weight gain, A Person got depressed, so they put on alot of weight, which caused breathing problems and some internal damage. What do you do, would you call it a illness or a mind set. It is an illness but the real battle is in the mind, once the person adjusts the mindset, and battles what made them depressed, it would lead to a solution in their health and weight issues, and in turn that would start to rectify the internal damage and breathing problems.

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Originally Posted by Paula

No, no, no. I told you on another thread that I have been told, by a psychiatrist, that my illness is purely due to family history and not because of any difficulties in my life. Are you saying you know better than a medical professional?

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I dont know better than professional, i always say seek help where you can. I do believe that it is possible the overcome a mental illness in different ways, for example my granddad, mother and father and sister also suffered mental health issues like me. I am saying that it doesnt define who you are, i am saying that just because your granddad had it it doesnt mean you have to accept it and leave it there. My sister was really mentally ill, she works as a hairdresser now and has many qualifications. I was mentally ill and i dont hear voices so much again despite taking 7 mgs of olanzapine. I had 6 symptoms for a good 5 years, simply because i trusted in the meds and didnt fight the "illness". I have conquered all my symptoms apart from 2 overthinking and hear voices. The hearing voices has gone on half the dosage i originally took. Overthinking has completely gone. I had schizophrenia, psychosis, and mental turrets, and change in personality, all at the same time, and i struggled to get a good nights sleep for months because of it and i was unfit to work. The tablets made no effect for years. The doctor kept changing the dosage and the type of health mental medication. Things were so bad i had a mental health team for almost 4 years and was admitted to a mental health ward on close watch. I do believe (Partly) that will power got me out of that and really making sense of things in my mind. I am not saying do not listen to the doctor, what i am saying is explore options and try different things, and believe in yourself. I am not saying anything more or less than what i did myself.

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Originally Posted by Stella180

Ahhh finally, hello Josh. It sounds like you have managed to get your life back on track with the right medical support in place. Depression isn’t just a state of mind, it is a chemical imbalance and the “negative mindset” is a symptom of the illness. Yes I agree that taking positive steps on the road to recovery have to come from the individual but you also have to have the right support to take those steps. People here are all in different situations and at different stages of recovery. For some it is a lifetime condition which is managed by medication. We all need to be mindful of this. Treatment for the illness is not a one size fits all solution and needs to be tailored to the individual. Telling someone to just be positive and you’ll be fixed isn’t helpful. It’s a bit like telling someone with a broken leg to ignore pain and walk it off.

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I agree. You also agreed technically with what i said when i call it a mindset. Practically medication works, but that alone helps you to just cope with the issue, it cant be overcome until the person adjusts their mentality too.
Its like running a marathon. What do you do to prepare for it. You train yourself mentally and adjust focus to believing you can win the race. On that mentality you work on the physical, but the real battle is mental. The person could be fit as Usain Bolt and have his speed, but if the person doesnt believe they could win the race or has the "depressed mindset" the person would not win the race. Success is a race with a time limit, the time limit can vary but so can the distance, that would depend on us personally. I am referring to both your "question" on 'depression' and also as a general problems that we would face in life.

Paula has never said that he MH illness "defines" her at all. She's very much a whole person and this is an illness she had no control over.

Please be mindful in your posts and replies as my members are real people and what is written here can have severe
implications and consequences..