Hi, I'm new...I'm looking for advice

I really don't know how to start this, but here I am, posting a long message through the Internet before even telling any of my close relationships first.
I've recently been feeling sad without any reason (for 3 months aproximmately). I have the urge to cry at any time and feel hopeless even though I should be happy because I'm in a new relationship and my boyfriend really tries to understand me but he doesn't know how I'm feeling and I feel ashamed when I want to cry and not him to see me.
I'm always worried about his feelings, I wonder if he's fed up even if I know he's not, and for sure I overthink every single thing I say because I don't want more troubles in my life right now. This happens to me with my friends and family too.
I think I've always kept everything to myself because of the fear of getting my parents angry and blaming me for being the way I am, or feeling like a looking for attention...
Despite all, I still feel alone with my feelings and misunderstood. I don't know what's going on with me but I feel blue and guilty of feeling like this. Sometimes I wanna stay in bed all day and cry, and sometimes I feel totally good and happy.
I've also lost my sleep pattern and find it hard to get some sleep.
I would appreciate some advice at this moment.
Thanks to everyone! <3

Hi, lovely, and welcome. I’m going to start with some questions, if I may. Have you spoken to your doctor? Are you on any medication? What troubles are you talking about? - could these have been a trigger?Have you been able to talk to any of your friends about how you’re feeling? Why do you think your parents would be angry with you?

Hunni, I can tell you that being in a new relationship doesn’t automatically mean you won’t struggle with a low mood - and if your boyfriend understands you then talk to him. That way, he can help you. He’s probably worried for you but doesn’t yet know how to help you. And never, never feel guilty, you wouldn’t feel guilty if you broke your leg - it’s not your fault.

Hi and welcome. Can I ask why you haven't told anyone around you? Why are you trying to hide how you feel from your bf?

I haven't spoken to my doctor neither my family. I've got one close friend who suffers from depression and anxiety and I had a conversation with her long time ago...but she's going through a lot more than me and I don't want to be a burden for her.
My relationship is healthy and he really loves me, but I don't feel ready to talk about it because I'm not sure what or how to tell him.
It can be many things. I'm studying at college and it's my last year...I feel the pressure of finding a job...I don't know what I want to do next...
I feel bad about some things I do, like procrastinating so much or not spending enough time with my family and friends

Hi and welcome. Sorry you are having such a rough time. Hopefully talking on here will help you sort through your thoughts. It's a very safe welcoming place

You sound as if you have a lot of pressure on you. What do you do to relax? Do you give yourself space and time where there are no demands on you, you can just be in the moment.

I used to do some yoga and meditation, but I quitted them when I started University. I go for a walk when I need some time alone

I love yoga and meditation is a great way to look after yourself. You may find it helps your anxiety if you were to start it up again. You have so much going on, taking a little time for self-care can make a huge difference to how you feel overall.

I'm not saying it's a cure but it's a coping strategy

Why not start thinking about taking up yoga or meditation again?

I'm sure your friend won't think of you as a burden at all. It's always easier to help others with their issues than it is your own...

I will definitely retake yoga and meditation. Thanks so much!

Should I talk to a doctor? Or is this just a phase? I'm not sure what is the next step

Whether it's a phase or not, it has been going on a while, I'd go and talk to your GP and tell them how you are feeling - we can't diagnose, we can just listen and tell you how we see things from our own points of view and experiences..