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Maybe that's just too much right now. He probably believes that he doesn't deserve you, that you deserve better, that he's never going to give you what you want/need etc etc
You have to remember that he's also dealing with a meds change too! He was "spoken to" by your brother last night, he'd forgotten you were going out etc.... Sweetheart give him time...
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Remember take this hour by hour.
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I actually feel like saying that may have helped.. He asked why I said that and i told him how I was scared too and how I felt like he doesn't love me anymore and he actually listened really well..
He even told me that when I need a cuddle I should come and get one because he didn't want me to not feel like I could cuddle him...
It was a surprisingly emotional but fulfilling chat..
We spoke about his recovery and I told him that it won't be like "I've woken up today feeling amazing" .. It will be gradual things like today I found something funny and today I looked at the dog and felt happy.. I mean that's what it was like for me anyway..??
After that though he even rested his head on my shoulder while we looked through my phone...
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It really is.. After it he was so relaxed and calm...
I hope I was right in what I said about his recovery.. Obviously I've only got my experience to go on..?
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That’s true for most people though there is no one fits all with this illness
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That's very true.. But I think he was expecting to wake up one morning feeling much better or much less numb.. I wanted to let him know at least that it might be smaller more unnoticeable changes at first...
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Hi Magie...
I am okay thank you... Things have been positive (I sincerely hope) ..
On Monday he was working at a construction site quite far away which meant he didn't get home until gone 6pm. I was already at the gym when he came home. I was blissfully surprised to walk in and find he had already started to prepare dinner.. Something he hasn't done for some time..
We helped each other do dinner and things went well.. He seemed in good spirits and didn't seem to be low (possibly a front I know) .. Throughout the night he seemed okay.. Able to make a joke or smile/laugh at something.. Towards the end of the night as we got in to bed he hurt his arm which made him low as he made comments about being weak and so on.. I tried to reassure him and started to stroke his back as I know he often likes it when I do that and he asked me to carry on until he fell asleep...
Yesterday was very much the same.. I didn't go to work in the morning but woke up early to get him up for work.. When he said goodbye I was asleep and he sat on the bed and woke me up.. He laid his head between my shoulder and my head for a while and I hugged him before he gave me two kisses on the lips (I got very happy over that haha.. Sad I know) .. When he got home he seemed in good spirits again.. Able to laugh and joke with myself and my nan.. Able to be a bit sarcastic and general good company.. He started to fall asleep early and when he took his sleeping tablet it practically knocked him out so I had to carry him (with great difficulty haha :) !! ) up to bed.. Once I had put him in to bed though he asked me to stroke his back again..
We haven't said "good night, love you" for a while as I am trying not to push him and leaving it for when he feels like he wants to as I know he does it for me at the moment..
This morning his cuddle was a lot less interested however.. He put his hands around my hips but left them there rather than giving me a squeeze.. Again though he seemed okay and not particularly irritable this morning...
All in all I am hoping it's been a positive few days and hoping he feels it has too...
Those tiny moments when he hugs me or asks me to stroke his back just remind me of how much I miss him.. I had to cuddle up to my nan while we watched a film last night in order to stop myself wanting to cuddle up to him haha...
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Does your Nan live with you?
Glad that there are positives you can hold onto right now..