Do we ever get rid of depression

Do we ever get better? Or once we have depression is it always going to follow us around and drag us down. Like with my asthma, I always have asthma but I don't have symptoms every day. I take preventatives every day and wjen it flares up I take my reliever inhaler. Something I have been taking a lot more of lately and need to get in touch with Dr. Ive had depression on and off since my teenage years, although it wasn't first diagnosed until I was 19. I've had times when the depression and anxiety is mild and manageable and other times when I am fighting to stop sinking. Right now I'm struggling. I've been quiet from posting for a few months. I've been avoiding dealing with my thoughts because it's been too much. I feel extremely guilty and ashamed of myself for many reasons. One of the main reasons is because I can see the effect of my illness has on DD. And she's struggling herself. I'm still on long term sick leave due to various health issues. Depression and anxiety just being a part of it. I've no idea when I will be ready to return to work. Whenever someone asks me I feel awful and don't like having to explain myself. I may look ok. I may sound ok. But I'm not ok. I do not like me. I do not want to be me. I am angry with me. Ashamed of me. And I've had enough. But I feel so guilty and ashamed of these thoughts and feelings when I see so many people suffering right now. I keep telling myself to stop these thoughts and try to get on. But I can't. I'm struggling to function normally.

Hi love. Are you still talking to counsellors/psych and your GP?
When did you have a meds review last?
Is DD having any help?
Are you taking care of the basics - eating, drinking and getting exercise?
Alcohol?
Sorry lots of questions...

I could have written that post, particularly recently (panda). As to your question, some of us do, some of us (like you and me) don’t. It’s shit tbh but I also firmly believe it makes us stronger. Just getting through the day is often a massive task so never, never underestimate what you do every single day to even get out of bed.

Meds not been reviewed for ages. I got discharged from MH nurse ages ago. Finished CBT ages ago. Currently in group therapy via mh services which is helping and is supportive. Dd been referred to cahms but I've been told a long wait. Just been feeling so low today and still not dressed. I joined gym on Monday as part of an exercise referral scheme from NHS and get discount prices and a tailored routine. I keep telling myself I will go today. I need to find that motivation as I know it will make me feel better. I think at the moment my anxiety is worse than the depression although I know they both trigger each off. I'm shaking alot. Feel on edge. Irritable. And panicky. It's so hard to stop these symptoms. I'll speak to gp next week as my sick note will need reviewing. I need to push myself to get fit for work. But I'm no better than when I first went off 5 months ago

When you speak to your GP, will you ask for a meds review, please?

Are you able to build up a routine for yourself?
Are you spending most of your time in bed?

Not spending all day in bed. Some days are harder than others to get up. Today I pushed myself out of bed by 10.45 and got dressed. Yesterday was much harder.

Well done for getting up today! What are you doing during your days?

I'm trying to crochet when I can. Only managing small projects because of my concentration. I started the mindless crochet blanket weeks ago but struggling to pick that one up at the moment. So I'm just making hearts and cards etc. Try to do some housework but that overwhelms me and I give up. I've joined the gym and aiming to go twice a week.

How are you doing at getting up each day? What are you doing during your day?

Each day is different. Today I've been up since 4.30 because I couldn't sleep so I came downstairs around 6. I try to attempt some housework. Sometimes I do crochet. Some days I struggle to get out of bed before midday. But I do push myself when I can and that's not everyday. I'm struggling with pain which is worse today and nothing is helping. I think it's worse today because I'm on day 3 of attempting to slowly ween off the ads I've been on for 2 yrs from advice from Dr before I can start something else. Withdrawals are a nightmare.

Yeah, I’ve also found withdrawal makes my pain worse - even when I’m not c9 ing off pain meds. All you can do with withdrawal is to be very, very kind to yourself (panda)

Thanks Paula. The Dr wants me to come off the duloxetine and start pregablin. I asked would I not need to go on an alternative ads. She said she thinks my drop in mood is associated with the pain and thinks if can sort out the pain then my mood will increase. It's early days as I can't come off them as quickly as she first suggested.

Is this jaw pain?

Did your doctor explain that pregabalin helps with anxiety too?

Yes. I was on pregablin a few years ago to help with anxiety and headaches.
Yes, jaw and facial pain and migraines, constant headaches, neck ache. Basically from shoulders upwards and I'm also experiencing lower back pain.
I'm on day 5 weaning today and I'm really struggling. Pain is hard that's it's affecting my sleep. Last night I managed 4 hours and the night before 3hrs. I'm really irritable and snappy. I've been awake since 4.30 today. I haven't made it to the gym this week. Will try to tomorrow if I'm feeling any better.

Oh sweetheart (bear) Are you still talking to your gp?

It's so hard to get hold of gp. Phone appointments have to be requested on the day via ask my gp at 7am. Yesterday I went on at 7.10am and it said already reached capacity so no appointments.
Does anyone ever get an urge to cry but the tears don't come and instead ends in a panick attack. This keeps happening to me and I get pins and needles. I can't stop worrying about so many things. I'm not going to SH. I just think of my kids if I ever get those thoughts. I couldn't put them through it. Instead I'm harming my body by eating to much of the wrong things. I'm getting comfort from a burning hot water bottle because the burning pain sensation is much better than the pain I have. I'm pulling my hair obsessively. Sometimes grabbing my hair to distract the pain and other times pulling out the split ends.

OK you have to call your GP and explain that you need some urgent mental health help. You can't carry on like this. What you are doing ARE self harm actions. You have to get help...

I’m surprised you don’t see those actions as self harming. Believe me, they are. Please, please demand an appointment urgently

I spoken to gp and a councellor. I'm ok. Will get there. Just going through a bad patch at the moment. I need to be kinder to myself.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in your care team?

Yesterday with councellor. We talked it through. It helped

How are you feeling today? How’s the pain? (panda)

Are you managing to get up and spend time with your family?