I've been suffering from depression for the last 3 months and I have been advised by my doctor to increase my dosage of Citalopram from 20mg to 40mg. I'm worried about this and was wondering if anybody had any advise?
Thanks!
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I've been suffering from depression for the last 3 months and I have been advised by my doctor to increase my dosage of Citalopram from 20mg to 40mg. I'm worried about this and was wondering if anybody had any advise?
Thanks!
Hi Rami and welcome. As a community of people who are affected by depression, we are not medically trained so can’t give advice. But, there will be plenty of people here who could to you about their experiences with citalopram, which hopefully will help with your decision. I will say that it’s rare for anyone to be put on the expected dose of any AD right at the start - doctors will normally start out on a lower dose so that your body can get used to the drugs, and their side effects, before increasing to a fully therapeutic level itms
Hi Paula, thanks for replying :) I feel better knowing that there are people who I can reach out to about my depression. It's been a weird experience and I was born into culture who had no concept of mental illness. They don't understand how/why the brain can get ill. So it has been a real struggle for the last couple of months. Yes so I started off with taking 20mg and did witness an improvement but I still suffer with suicidal thoughts. I will be fine for about two weeks and when something negative happens, my brain takes a dive so it was the doctors decision to increase the dosage. It can be a real battle to pull myself through the dark zone
Hi Rami and welcome to the group. I've added a trigger warning as you talk about suicidal thoughts. It's not bad, just that we like to give as much notice to others who may not be able to deal with those topics right now.
If your Dr has suggested upping the dose then I'd say try it. But remember it's going to take time to get into your system before you feel it working...
Hi Rami, getting the medication and the dosage that suits you can take some time and remember it can take a few weeks before you feel the benefit.
Hi Suzi, thank you for putting on the warning :) I'm new here so I'm still trying to get around the website! Well I have started on the increased dosage and but it doesnt feel as though i'm making any progress. Increasing the dosage just makes me feel as though I'm sinking further.
Hi OldMike, yes I know it takes a few weeks to kick in and im no quitter either but the whole thing is just exhausting. I'm sure this is the predicament for a lot of people but I have to deal with the pain of having lost someone I love, troubles with my family and also deal with the reality of isolation, working from home and etc (which is the easiest to deal with out of the three)
Do you want to talk about your loss?
I'm sorry you've all three of those to deal with. As Paula asks, do you want to talk about any of those?
Hang on in there with the meds lovely, they do take a while to kick in and to start helping.
The most painful event was losing someone I love and they haven't passed away, but I have lost him from my life and it was the event that triggered all this pain. I'm someone who journals pretty regularly but ever since the event, I haven't had the strength to write anything down cause it's too much to acknowledge
Oh hunni, I get that completely. My last big breakdown was because of losing someone. Do you want to talk about what happened or would it help more to talk about how you can get through it?
I completely agree that losing someone is so painful. Is the damage irreconcilable?
thank you for understanding! I would like to talk about my loss if thats okay?
Of course it’s ok (bear)
Of course....
You can talk about anything here (panda)
Thank you all :) I met this amazing guy last year and my life was never the same after that. He's caring, thoughtful, sweet, funny, very smart and super cute. I actually met him at work and spent six months working next to him and he helped me improve my skills so much. But when I was made redundant, we got the chance to see each other. We had some great memories, cooked together, movies, lots of fun dates. And everything was going so well for the next couple of months and then suddenly, he lost his job. He went on a holiday to new zealand for a month to escape everything and i decided to tell him how I feel when he came back. Whilst dealing panic attacks and anxiety as I didnt know what was going to happen between us. He came back and I told him how I felt and he said he felt the same way but we wouldnt be able to go any further since he had to move back to Hertfordshire with his parents until he sorts his life out. Now oxford o herforshire takes 1.5 hours and I didnt think it was impossible. We both drove and had cars and we were mature enough to make things work but he didnt think it would work out and that it would end bad since cause years and years ago, he was with someone for 3 years and when they had to make it long distance, things fell apart. So he thought he could predict the future and sad things will end badly. Whereas, I thought that things could still fall apart if you were with someone who lived 5 mins away from you. I tried to give him options but he didn't think it would work and I had no option but to let him go. We spent one last weekend together and that was it. We didnt pour our hearts out, we didn't really say goodbye but I let his flat knowing that was the last i'd see him and I immediately went into grieving. I hated myself, I hated everyone else and I wanted to ruin the happiness of others as I didn't think it was fair, because life wasn't fair to me. I never had to chance to tell him I loved him. It was been hell since that weekend.
Oh hunni that's horrible... Have you thought about sending him a text or email or something to see how he is or just to keep options open?
It sounds to me that he didn’t cope with losing his job very well which was why he pushed you away. However, there is a chance that time and space has made him rethink things so, as Suzi says, maybe it’s worth keeping in touch with him as friends - and seeing how things go?
Well the last I spoke to him was the start of the corona virus breakdown when I asked him if he was alright since I saw on the news that two people in Hertfordshire were infected. But otherwise I havent spoken to him. It's been so so hard to accept it all since we both had feelings for each other and I knew I was the only girl he had gotten close since his last (and only)relationshio which was 4 or so years ago. We really understood each other and I'm embarrassed to admit this but one time, we went to see the fireworks during November time and he ended up having a dodgy hotdog and when we went back to his flat, he immediately had a tummy ache. I've had food poisoning before and it was the worse thing ever and I was so worried that might have it. He had no paracetamol or anything and so I rushed out in my car quickly before the shops closed and got him the meds and left him there to rest up. Then a week later, I got a speeding ticket from that night, where I had driven so fast to make sure I gt him the painkillers. That event is just bittersweet. And Paula, you are right, he didnt cope with his job loss well and he wasnt very good at being open and I knew he tried to put up walls around me but they didnt last with me. So I really had an affect on him but cause of everything going on, he couldnt cope. He also had to rent his flat, which he had to fix up before he moved back to Hertfordshire. So I understand he was going through a lot. But I couldnt be friends with him, I love him. I told him I didnt wanna lose him and he just hugged me close to him. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings but i knew by his actions. There hasnt been a day since when I dont think about him. He's made me such a better person and he's part of my daily life. I have one picture of us together from when we worked together but thats it. A part of me does understand his decision as in our last weekend together, I saw a notebook on his kitchen with a list of things he had to do for the flat, get bulbs, curtains etc. and the last thing on the last was written in capitals: "SORT YOUR LIFE OUT JOE". So he did have a lot going on but we still really liked each other. The whole thing is just so tragic and my feelings for him hasnt changed at all. If i had the chance to live the last 8 or so months again with him knowing how it will end, i'd do it again without any second thoughts
Playing devils advocate... Men don't tend to talk openly about their feelings - be they positive or negative... They also seem to have a "male pride" thing of having to be able to provide etc etc.... Sweetheart if you still feel like that then tell him... At least you'd know one way or another...
Hahaha I do agree with that! The thing is, I have already told him how I feel and it was his choice to walk way. He knows where to find me. Given the lockdown and everything, I'm may have not had the chance to sort of any of his issues. But still, I still have this feeling that I'll see him again someday. Maybe it's my hope talking but there feeling is still there
Maybe he needs a friend right now and, if you love him that much, maybe you could find it in you to be that friend? Hunni, if you refuse to be in his life there’s absolutely no chance of anything ever happening. If you’re in his life as a friend, who knows what will happen?
No no please dont get me wrong, i want him to be a part of my life and i want to be part of his. But he doesnt have a single female friend, he doesnt even think its possible for males and females to be friends. He's a bit 'unique' to say the least.
Lol, I have lots of male friends who are just that! Be that friend, let him know you're there for him and see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe something...
I'm glad you do! My best friends a guy too but Joe is a different creature, he reckons its impossible for both sexes to be friends. Let alone someone he's had something romantic with. Anyway, can I talk about my gut feelings? I would also love to hear your experiences!
You can talk all you want here.
I too have some male friends. I had a lot more when I was younger and very few female friends until recent years.
Yeah my best friend of 10 years was a girl but we had a falling out and my best friend now is a bloke!
Going back to the topic, I have this gut feeling that I will see/get in touch with Joe again. I have a feeling that it's not quite over. Now that doesnt mean i'll immediately run back to him but I will be willing to give things a go. Is that my hidden hope talking or should I not ignore this itching/nagging feeling I have? I never had this feeling with any of my previous (actual) relationships. What do you guys think?
Any thoughts are welcome!
I think that people come into our lives for a reason. I also believe that there is some kind of plan.... Don't ignore your gut feeling, but also don't let that gut feeling stop you from living your life and having all the other experiences you are going to have....
Do you think it’s been made harder by the lockdown and not having the social life you’re used to?
I find it hard to believe in that. To be fair, it's hard to say what I believe in anymore. My world is completely changed since the depression. And I don't think it has been worse since the lockdown. If fact, the lockdown is somewhat helping because most of my triggers exist outside my house and I don't have to see those anymore. I don't want to ignore my gut feeling either and the reason I get it because me and him have managed to find out way back to each other when changes have happened before. So I have a feeling this might not be over but then again, it's so hard to say. I wish I could look into the future and know for sure. I hate uncertainty
I think a lot of us hate uncertainty... How is your mood atm? Are you taking the meds?
Yes I know but some people can embrace it. My mood is okay but it's not great. My confidence has taken a dip. And yes I am still taking my medications, thank you for asking.
I remember the days when I used to love myself and had so much confidence. Now I barely have any of that left
Hunni, are you trying to look too far in the future? Could you try focussing on day by day?
I know I'm looking too far into the future but when it comes down to it, I try to take things day by day. I dont think it's wrong to worry about the future but it certainly doesnt help. The way I think is that if I know what the future holds, I can either keeping going today or give up everything. Most people keep moving forward cause they have hope. I have very little of that at the moment. It's hard to trust that things will be fine :(
I know right now it doesn’t seem it, but there will be a way through, things will be fine. But none of us knows what the future holds and trying to predict it will always end up in problems, especially at the moment.
Thing is, the future isn't something that anyone can see or be totally sure of. However, fighting the best you can each day is the best thing you can do...
Yeah and youre right! But it's hard to not be carried away by my fear of the future. Especially when I dont have much hope to hold onto
There’s always hope. Just a little bit about me - over 7 years ago I had a fall which led to life changing injuries. Until last summer, I was getting worse and worse and more disabled year on year and I didn’t believe there was hope of any improvement. In August last year, I went on a residential pain management programme that literally changed my life. I am still disabled but am managing a thousand times better, and have been able to get my life back. If you’d have told me a year ago that this would happen, I would not have believed you, no one would.
There is always hope
Thanks for sharing that with me, I'm so glad that you are able to manage your disability better now :) I wasn't always like this, before this year, I had hope and I have been through a tonne of difficult situations. 9 years of bullying, issues with my dad, strict parents, rejection from guys, sexual assault, falling out with a best friend of 10 years, skin condition (lifelong), was first love who ended up getting depression, being made redundant from first job out of uni etc. these are the most painful things I have been through but there was one thing that always stuck with me and that was hope. I was able to hold onto hope even after my heart was broken from my first love and yet, I'm sat here with nothing but hesitation for the future. The depression has really screwed me up. Somedays I feel like I will stuck in this voide forever.
Oh hunni, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all that (panda)
I’ve added an additional trigger warning to your thread, just to make sure anyone who want to avoid those discussions