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You know, now I realize that everything that has happened so far was probably for the best of my mental and physical safety. Stella said that COVID did me a favour back in March and the others would have thought the same. But now I think it was for the best despite some losses.
I tried to defend the man when he vanished online. But I remember another psychologist telling me some time ago that " if a man wants to make steps towards a woman, there will certainly not be any borders" (not applying probably too much in the new Covid reality!)
I realized later, he probably used ghosting and mosting maybe. He explained he was not in proper mood and disconnected with the world...
I don't judge him, but he enjoyed my naive admiration for him and I guess he thinks I will be forever there waiting for him. Why then stating finally he is in relationship and that many things changed, having two accounts with and without me (blocked there an dprivate), but welcoming the idea of seeing me one day?
Too much egoism.
Thank God, no gaslighting. My dad used it with his mom against his second wife. When I asked him why he married her, if she was so bad, his reply was: " I did not know she was crazy. Nobody told me or mom. " Or my stepdad used permanent gaslighting and other kinds of abuse against my mom, denying even hiting her, but the medical expertise reaveled different things. He mostly applied physical abuse, when there were no witnesses and this was in the last years of their marriage.
Too sad when someone uses manipulation techniques.
But I decided to return on dating site just being there for killing boredom and communication with normal people. If I feel uncomfortable, I stop any kinds of communication. I am still planning a visit to Paris, but this can become reality I guess only in summer.
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You sound in a much better place mentally. Its lovely to hear.
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I'm glad you're moving things forward, but hunni you're so better off putting yourself first...
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But I must unfortunately recognize that I am still a bit scared of getting closer to someone. I decided just saying I need some more time without giving any details. I mean either on distance or real life.
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Sorry, are you saying you've already met someone you think you'd like to get closer to?
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No, only online.
The thing is that the 2 men impressed me with their attitude. I told them the truth that I'm going only in summer. Both of them told me, it is not a problem, that we will see how it is going and if I cannot, they can visit me either in my country or Latvia.
I was surprised.
They told me that while being on lockdown started to think more about some values or building stronger relationship and family.
Is that fine?
The idea was if a man likes a woman, he can come to visit first.
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Hunni, why aren't you looking closer to home?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't go to meet anyone unless you have a friend with you... You have to be safe.
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No, I will not go anywhere soon.
And already fed up with dating site. It gave me some strength, but I need a break, I mean anywhere.
But if someone wants to visit me, then it seems to be a different thing.
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Sweetheart you have to be kind to you.... Why not try local dating sites instead?
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I tried, but there is a very poor choice, many of locals are working abroad either. I mean those of my age.