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I dont see good inside of me. And thats getting worse for a while now. Maybe because I am being shown how wrong my perceptions are on so many things in therapy. Being fragile is hard. And not knowing what I want makes it difficult to do something about that. And the things I do know I am to scared to do something about.
I am even thinking right now to stop online gaming so i can cut those people out my life too. There is a lot of drama in there and I am seeing so many good in people and all I hear is how terrible they are. It breaks my heart. Another thing I got wrong.
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Why did you get that wrong? What do you mean by that?
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That I see good in people when everyone else seems to think and say that they are bad people. Am I getting every signal and every interaction wrong? Seems like it.
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The world of online gaming esp in a strategy/war type game is very difficult to read. I've played other ones where you build up your village, get more, build it up then with your allies go and destroy others - it's very difficult to read there - there are those who are very, very big players who play very aggressively, but who are really lovely and sweet, and those who seem lovely who are two faced and disloyal... It's not a "you" thing, it's a "type of game" thing....
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Yes, thats true. But these are also people I have spoken to on headset so many times. I dont know if its me getting played, me overreacting or getting things mixed up in my head. I used to think I had a good sense in that respect. But ever since therapy I question even more then before.
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Maybe while working through this stuff in therapy it’s best not to make any big decisions if you are in any way worried of the consequences.
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I agree with Stella. Are you actually giving yourself time to process what you're talking about in therapy? Would it help to talk about it here? Are you getting better at taking your meds at the same time each day?
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Hi Mira - I hope you have had a better day today.
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Thanks Knowle, I am struggling but doing ok. I had trouble with food but other then that I have been playing my game online. And watching streams.
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Are you keeping a mood diary? It might be something to think about...