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We've got a weekend in York, then a few days in Chessington. There's not much rest involved until we get to the evenings, but at least I don't have to wash up.
Although that's not much of a problem these days as the Beta Blockers seem to be helping me with my focus issues.
I've even been able to get some of my fan-game programmed, but it's a work in progress still.
http://fx.barcodebattler.co.uk/pokVR/
If I can tidy up and add comments to the code, it might land me a job.
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That’s great that the meds are helping
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I'm glad the meds are helping!
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I've had a meeting with someone from a depression advice team, and after filling in some electronic surveys I noticed words to the effect of "Patient requires supervision" (I couldn't memorise it fast enough, it was on screen for barely a second).
She's recommended some support groups for me to attend and has given me some details.
At home, my wife has been arranging for me to start driving again. I'm a bit nervous about it, but if it makes me more employable I'm all for it.
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Why did you stop driving, can I ask?
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It was via my GP.
Initially I stopped driving after passing my test because I didn't have the money to buy a car, but as the years passed I lost the confidence I'd gained after passing my test. Which wasn't much - the examiner commented it was the worst pass he'd seen.
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My test was so bad the examiner stopped me halfway through and we had to walk back to the teacher at centre, I'd love to be able to drive I think it opens up a whole new world, I really hope you find the confidence to get back to it but I'd not you can still do great things without it :) my dad never learnt to drive and he's 64 now
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Why not do something like the pass plus course or similar? It'll get you back driving with an instructor and build your confidence..
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A worse pass is still a pass, lovely
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It's funny - I kept having an argument with my wife over which pedal was the accelerator and which was the clutch. She'd say the accelerator is on the left, but I said I'm not sure; the brake is definitely in the middle, but the accelerator might be on either side, I just couldn't remember from my lessons.
Then we checked the owner's manual for the car (the previous owner has parked it in my garden) and the accelerator is apparently on the right.
I'll probably just use it for getting to work and back each day until I get confident with it; it's less than 2 miles each way.
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The first lesson I was given was to remember ABC. Starting from the drivers door, accelerator, break an clutch. It's something that is easy to remember and I've never forgotten.
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I remember having a similar lesson, but after 14 years I couldn't remember if ABC started from the midline of the car or from the door.
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It'll all come back to you...
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It’s like riding a bike ;)
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Today's the big day. Got the meeting this afternoon to decide if I've been a good boy or not, and by extension, if my employment here will continue before I can find another job.
I love most of my colleagues and customers. They make my life bearable in the face of what management tell me.
You can't please everyone, but if you can't please the men at the top, you're out.
I suppose if I worked to please management, that would annoy everyone else, then management would get a ton of complaints about me and I'd be out anyway.
I'm not going to win today. If I'm lucky I'll get 4 week's notice. Hopefully that'll be enough time for me to tie up all the loose ends here before I'm booted out.
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Good luck today, I hope things go well for you
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Hope you get sorted lovely...
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Well, they found out about the overdose from a colleague I confided in, so they decided not to discuss the outcome of the capability procedure and instead sought guidance from a health care professional over weather I should be working unsupervised for the next 2 days.
I'm off for a week after that, and the professional said I've been working unsupervised since the overdose and not repeated it, so she doubts I'll do it again in that time.
From Friday I'll be off work for a week, and after that everyone should be back from their summer breaks, so they're confident I should have enough support at work from then on. But the OD occurred before anyone went on holiday and nobody noticed at the time, so I'm not sure what the logic is there.
Still, another person in my role at another branch came to visit last week to lend a hand for an afternoon and commented that many of us in other branches are being treated for anxiety and depression, so we think there must be a pattern.
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It's good that you had some support from someone else - did they comment on your ability to do the job etc?
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Hopefully they now have evidence of the pressure you’ve been under and will support you better
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They mentioned that I had made some improvements, but then the subject of the OD came up and they decided to postpone the meeting.
I got home from my driving lesson to find an invitation to a stress class, so I'll call them in the morning to confirm my attendance.
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How did the driving go? When's the meeting postponed to?
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They haven't agreed on a date yet, but I'll find out after my holiday.
The driving lesson went quite well; I went over how to start, stop, steer and change gear, so I'll try light traffic in my next lesson.
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Did you feel comfortable with the instructor and behind a wheel?
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I felt OK with the instructor and I have 2 more lessons next week. But I'm nervous about joining traffic. The previous lesson had me on a road with mostly parked cars, so hopefully I'll start there again and move on to a slightly busier road, but not a dual carriage way.
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The instructor should take it at your pace, lovely. My youngest daughter is having lessons atm and she’s progressing much faster than my eldest did, even though they have the same instructor. My eldest was far less confident so he didn’t push her beyond what she felt comfortable with
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Paula is right. Talk to your instructor about how you are feeling.....
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I've had my second and third lessons this week and my instructor says I might be ready to enter heavy traffic next lesson, which I'm starting to agree with.
I've also had the minutes from the meeting at work. I need to sign them and post a copy of them back to head office, so I'll sort that this morning.
Later today there's an appointment with my GP, so I'll explain about the recommendation from work for the antidepressants. Maybe they'll help with the insomnia that's crept back in recently.
Last night I slipped with a screw driver while trying to fix a shelf. I now have a cross-shaped wound healing on the tip of my finger, which hurts quite badly even though it's not bleeding any more. Not looking forward to washing up. This was always a problem when I used to give blood, as they do a finger brick blood test, and it was always on a finger tip which is packed with nerve endings.
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Great news about the driving. Are you enjoying it?
Do you agree with the minutes from the meeting? Are you happy to sign them?
You should talk to your GP about the anti d's but make it clear that it was a recommendation from occupational health, and not a Dr/counsellor/mental health professional...
WRT the finger, have you thought about wearing washing up gloves?
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I still have a few worries about driving, mainly to do with the unpredictability of other drivers, but with practice they should go away.
I'll go over the minutes again tomorrow. Today feels like a huge rush and it's nearly midnight now.
After talking with my GP, I've been prescribed fluoxetine, which warns me on the box that it may impair my driving. Though this may address my insomnia. She was going to prescribe sertraline again, but I told her about what happened last time, so she changed her mind.
Due to other issues, I had been recommended gloves for washing up, but I don't like the feel of them; instead I have found a way of keeping my damaged finger dry by handling the dishes with that hand out of the water, while passing items to it from under water with my good hand. It's hurting a lot less now, unless I type with it, which I've learned not to do today.
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All meds have to put all the potential side effects on the information, whether they’re likely or not. To date, I haven’t met anyone who struggles with driving because of fluoxetine and I’m sure you’ll be fine.
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My husband was on a high dosage of fluoxetine for years and it didn't ever impact on his driving and he's one of the best drivers I've ever been in a car with!
How's the washing up going? Are you spending less time with it?
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Thankfully I don't have much washing up to do today, as I'm the only one in the house until Sunday afternoon. My finger still hurts badly, but it hasn't bled since the night of the injury and doesn't appear to be hot or swollen, so I doubt it's infected.
I'll see what the fluoxetine does, as I've only had 2 tablets so far. I think I'm on a very low dose to see how I react to it.
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Where are your children and wife?
How hard did you hurt your finger?
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My wife and kids are in Blackpool.
When I slipped with the screwdriver, I was pressing it into the screw about as hard as I could, so it left a cross-shaped mark less than 5mm across in the skin on my finger tip. It bled for at least 5 minutes, but I tried to act calm, applied pressure below the wound and kept it raised before washing it. Unfortunately that only slowed it down, rather than stopping it completely, so I wrapped it tightly with a large plaster and that did the trick. When I woke up the next day it had stopped without making too much of a mess.
I know it sounds bad, but I've bled worse when I was cutting myself.
But I know not to do DIY at 1130 pm now, as buses to the hospital don't run at that time and as far as I know, taxi drivers don't like bodily fluids leaking everywhere in their vehicles. I feel like I would have been wasting an ambulance's time.
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I agree it doesn't sound like you needed an ambulance, but you could have got a taxi I'm sure if you needed it... But yes DIY at 1130pm is probably best avoided.....
Just checking, how old was the screwdriver and have you had a tetanus booster?
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The screwdriver has been in my toolbox for many years. It isn't rusty, but I don't remember when I last had a tetanus booster; probably when I was a child.