Hold on - right now I doubt he even knows whether he is hungry or thirsty or if he wants tea or coffee and you think he's in a fit state to make such a monumental decision? I don't think you're being fair to him at all with that comment actually.
No, he shouldn't have done those things, but you shouldn't have "gone on and on" about going with him to the paintballing and the Drs when he'd made himself crystal clear that he didn't want you to go.
What is it you want him to do to "change it?" I don't think you understand quite what he's dealing with right now.
I truly am sorry you are struggling but I think your main focus right now needs to be getting him more stable and more able to deal with this rather than you needing comforting.. I do truly understand as I've been there and I know how much it hurts - but he's no where near ready to make those decisions you want..