When I die, I want to go peacefully and quietly in in my sleep like my dad.
Not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
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When I die, I want to go peacefully and quietly in in my sleep like my dad.
Not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
A programmer’s wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.
(rofl)(rofl)
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.
An old man came up to me at the cash machine and asked me to help him check his balance ... so i pushed him over.
A man shows up late for work. His boss yells, "You should have been here at 8.30!" The man replies, "Why? What happened at 8.30?"
An Elephant walks into a bar, and walks over to the pianist and starts to cry.
The pianist asks" do you recognize the song" The Elephant replies "No, i recognize the ivory".
A dyslexic guy walked into a bra....
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
My gay dyslexic friend was really disappointed this year; he though February the 14 was Vaseline day.