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If you want to be a better person, then just be a better you. Already, you are much better than you were at the beginning of the year. You are opening up here, before you would have just gone silent. That's HUGE!! It's incredibly difficult to open up. (I'm still learning that no-one else knows what's going on in my mind unless I tell them!)
Keep posting, because you really aren't a bother. You are part of our family here and we love and worry when you are quiet.
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I've been thinking about this all morning and I don't know if it helps you, but what helps me is my mantra...
"Today I will be the best person that I can be"
Today I might be able to do more etc and I might feel better than I can today. Yesterday I slept all morning on the sofa, but that's OK because actually it was the best that I could do. Today I've managed to get on my treadmill for the first time in just over a week, and pushed myself doing it, but I also have parents evening for H tonight, so this afternoon will be spent being really kind to myself and not beating myself up about it. If I decided to go full steam ahead at every other job and all the housework I wouldn't be able to get to that and wouldn't be able to be there for my children later. So I'm going to fill the dishwasher and I'm going to shower, make lunch for Marc and I and then rest until I go to pick B + H up and then go back for H's parent's evening at 4 and pick F up. Tonight's dinner will be something that they can just throw in the oven..
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I wish I was a better woman, a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better Christian. I fail all the time at all of those, because I am not perfect, I’m not even in the same ball park of perfect ville. My faith actually tells me that I’m never going to get things right on my own because I’m human and, as such, not perfect. But I do try, every single day, and that’s all anyone can ask of me. And that’s all anyone can ask of you .......
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Thanks all. You are all to kind. And great people all around.
I can only tell you all how proud i can be by reading how you all are.
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Going to try and nap. It will help with getting the time to move along. I do not want to keep complaining while everybody else has bigger problems.
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Mira - stop and listen. The problems that you are having are hugely important and no "bigger" or "smaller" than anyone else's because they are happening to you. You have to learn that you are important to us and how things are for you matters to us too.
You've been a member here for just over 5 years. That's a long time to stick around and have friendships if we didn't care or want to have anything to do with you.
So.. Talk to us.
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I moderate a depression group on fb and the other day I approved a meme and I think the message is worth repeating here...
"Someone who drowns in 7ft of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20ft of water. Stop comparing traumas, stop belittling your or anyone else's trauma because it wasn't "as bad" as someone else's. This isn't a competition, we all deserve support and recovery."
You deserve support and recovery just as much as the rest of us. If something bothers you then it is just as big as something that bothers any of us. Trauma/problems are subjective, if it's an issue for you then it's important so talk to us lovely.
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You are both right. I hate when I get this way. I tend to spiral untill people do not know what to say anymore so they dont say anything. And then I see that as they dont like me.
I know you will not agree. But I am not very likable. Thats why I am always alone. Its ok though.
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I disagree completely!!! I think you're absolutely lovely and far stronger then you give yourself credit for!!!
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I knew you would think that. But its been tried and tested. I am doing my best not to do it here. And trying not to do sh. Its hard to see any point in anything. When i am just by my self with everything making me stressed or anxious. Sitting on the couch waiting for the time to go to bed.