I’m so sorry, lovely. I’ve been through a divorce and I know how much it hurts (panda)
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I’m so sorry, lovely. I’ve been through a divorce and I know how much it hurts (panda)
Don't dread it, there will be better times ahead lovely....
Hi, It’s been a difficult time for me recently and the last few days have been particularly upsetting. The one positive point for me is I now know where I stand. One problem is that for the foreseeable future my wife and I need to share the marital home. I think we can deal with things amicably but I do find it tough at times.
I’m meeting my sister this evening for a chat. She recently went through a divorce and I’m sure she’ll understand how I feel and impart some sympathy and sound advice.
I’m a bit battered and bruised but I’m still here looking forward and not back (most of the time).
(panda)
Looking forward is incredibly hard when you're in the midst of something so painful, but it's so important. You are doing brilliantly.
Drew that's good you're managing to keep looking forward, hope the chat with your sister went well.
For me today was a quiet day. The most exciting thing to happen was the chap from the local council visiting to deal with a wasps nest. However the positive of the day was that my negative thoughts seemed fewer and further apart. I’d be happy to have a few more ‘quiet days’.
Quiet days are definitely OK!
How are you today?
I think I’m doing quite well. I still get the occasional negative thought and worry about the past but in general I’m plodding on. I’m still not enthused about the future but I’m dealing with things as they happen.
One problem on the horizon is my wife will be moving back home later today and will be here for the foreseeable future. It’s all very amicable but I’ve found it a bit of a strain when she’s about. I’ve asked her to agree to a house rule that we don’t rake over the past and hopefully that will help.
My positive thought for the day is - I’m dealing with things as they happen and my ability to concentrate seems to have returned.
I know it doesn't feel like you're doing well, but you really are. Step by step, minute by minute if you have to, but you are still moving forward....
Another quiet day for me. I had a long chat to the local therapy team and the’ve put me on the waiting list for counselling but there’s a couple of months until they can help. I guess it’s self help and talking to family and friends until then.
I’m on my way to town for an evening with my brother. I’mlooking forward to a few beers and some tapas, it’ll make a nice change from microwaved fare.
It's good that you're being put on the list - I know it feels like such a long way off, but it really will be worth it. I'm glad you're going out to get something to eat with your brother. Hope you have a really good time.
Drew hope you had a good evening with your brother :)
I thoroughly enjoyed my evening out yesterday and that helped me start the day in a fairly positive mood. Nothing of note to report for positives or negatives but that’s fine by me.
Even and balanced is good lovely.. How's your mood?
My mood is still generally low but not as negative as it was a week ago. I still have a fairly low opinion of myself and can’t seem to be enthusiastic about the long term future but I’m dealing with things hour by hour, day by day. It seems as though I’m existing rather than living, treading water rather than swimming.
Everyone tells me there is a good future out there for me and time will heal my wounds but having failed to deal with my depression for so many years I’m still not convinced this time will be different
On the positive side I’m still here and still fighting and I recognise I have made some progress since my meltdown.
Treading water right now is good. You will get through this hour by hour is fine lovely...
You're fighting it and making progress yes there will be setbacks along the way but as you say your mood is less negative than a week ago which is a big plus, I've found from personal experience it is a long hard journey but you'll reach a point when good days outnumber bad ones and the time between bad days increases. There is no magic wand but you're getting there.
I had the house to myself for most of the day and I decided it was going to be a ‘me day’. I’ve been watching the cricket and Tour de France while reading the news and twitter. I’ve eaten when I wanted and what I wanted and my appetite was the better for it.
One of the articles I read was https://themighty.com/2017/06/depres...-wasting-time/ and it struck a chord with me - at times I do feel guilty about being depressed. Luckily I find getting out of bed and distracting myself helps me stop thinking negatively but I can sympathise with the thought ‘Nobody should be made to feel bad about having a mental illness, but I bring this guilt upon myself’. I guess knowing the enemy is a major part of fighting the everyday battle and eventually the war.
I have found out a great deal about myself in the past few weeks. It’s not all good but it’s not all bad either, I t’s work in progress.
It strikes a chord with me too the number of times I've said tomorrow I'll do that or that and when tomorrow comes all I do is stay in bed or sleep on the sofa. Yes knowing the enemy gives you something to fight against.
i think that it's great that you have had a day where you can be in control. I think it's a great thing that you can stop and see the good things - as well as the bad which tend to be the only ones that you can see when things are rough...
My mobility was a bit difficult today if I do too much my back and legs get more painful. As I have an appointment with the Independent Living Partnership tomorrow I thought it best to have a quiet day again. Hopefully the partnership will come up with all kinds of tools, aids and advice to help me fend for myself.
Strangely, the dark thoughts I hoped I was beginning to conquer seem to have returned today. I’ll take it as a reminder that it’s a long road to recovery and I can’t expect to beat depression in a few short weeks.
My positive thought for the day is that I’m beginning to make medium/long term plans for my future away from my current home. I’m still not enthusiastic about living by myself but I’m putting effort into finding alternative accommodation.
You have to remember, you didn't get poorly overnight, so overnight won't fix it either.. You have to be kind and patient..
A busier day today and I’m the better for it. The Independent Living Partnership were very helpful and will be helping me with walking aids and advice regarding my housing needs. I felt more positive coming out of our meeting than before I went in. Later I had a drive in the countryside and called to see my parents on the way home. The day goes so much more quickly when you’re busy.
Positive thought for the day - I must try to get out of the house at least once a day.
Drew looks like you had a very positive day and getting out of the house at least once a day is a good goal.
That’s a great aim to have, especially with the beautiful weather
Those are so positive! I'm sorry, what issues do you have walking?
I have a long term back problem where a curve in the lower spine has trapped nerves. This causes inflammation, pain and weakness if I stand or walk for very long.
I sympathise. I (and other members here) have degenerative disc disease. I also have scoliosis, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia amongst other diagnoses.. I have a walking aid - he's called Wally lol and my husband customised another for when we go anywhere off track called Eva!
How are you today?
Today I feel quite positive. I’m hopeful I may have solved my housing problems and if so it will be the start of my new future. I should have more to report in the next day or so.
Thanks,
Drew.
That’s fantastic!
That's brilliant Drew *crosses everything that your housing problems are solved*
Oh Drew that's fantastic! I'm so pleased for you!
My negative side says ‘you haven’t done it yet’ but I live in hope - that’s positive thinking!
It's positive that you've even tried to make some forward steps with it...
I’m pleased to report another steady day. There were no great highs or lows and I’m happy with that.