That sounds really positive hunni... I know you don't hold your breathe, but it might be different this time?
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That sounds really positive hunni... I know you don't hold your breathe, but it might be different this time?
They've said the waiting list is currently 6-8 weeks so all I can do is wait and see.
My study materials arrived tonight. The first assignment is due the 15th February and the self-doubt is already creeping in.
There’s no room for self doubt on this bread young lady!!! You’ll smash it :)
No self doubt or you'll have to upload things here and we'll have to proofread ;)
Bad day today. Took me hours to get up, mood is generally low and I'm agitated and irritable.
Snap!
(panda) for both of you
(bear) Marc's been similar... So I sympathise..
Going to get into my pjs and try and do some colouring. Getting so tired of fighting all the time
I know love, I know... (bear)
I wish I could have some stability. I've been very agitated all day and found it difficult to control urges. I changed my bedding because the thought that I needed to just kept going round and round my head and wouldn't stop. It's like the longer I left it the louder it got. Found it very difficult to not spend either. And now that mood has broke I've spent the last hour flopped face down on my bed and exhausted.
That kind of cyclical thought and mood is exhausting so not surprised that you needed to flop. Can you make sure you've got this all ready to show/talk through to the mh team?
(panda)
How are you doing?
(bear) (panda)
I'm tired and feeling a bit out of it today. Hard to explain, on edge/agitated/irritable, yet at the same time exhausted, finding it hard to sit still and also feel slightly detached. I was talking to J at 5am this morning, so not slept well. I eventually dozed off again at half 7.
Had Ash having a bit of a strop last week because I didn't reply to a rude message. Apparently in his head, friends comes with occasional benefits. He's decided not to contact me anymore, and to be honest, it's no huge loss. Had an email off dickhead too from another account, begging me to talk to me so he can help me out.
I thought you were going to stop things with Ash and dickhead after their last strops? Please do lovely, you don't need their (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)...
Ash I had left alone but I hadn't blocked him. Dickhead I haven't spoken to him since I last said, he used a secondary email address, but I just deleted it.
You deserve better than those pair of d*ckheads...
I have better. It may take some time to get there, but I'm a lot happier then I have been in a long time.
I’ve said it before. Block them cos they can’t offer anything positive to your life and are only going to drag you down.
^^^wss
Also agree totally...
I have blocked dickhead. I blocked him ages ago, I thought I'd mentioned it. His email was from another account as I blocked his email too. He has several accounts and I don't know them all.
Block each one you come across love... Why haven't you blocked Ash?
Honestly? I don't know. I can only guess that he made such a huge thing over always having me in his life and made me feel so bad for hurting him that I felt guilty.
You hurting him? No, love, that’s so not what happened
But he treated you like (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear). A lot of what he said just didn't add up - such as him being in the same hospital as you, but not being able to give you 5 mins just to say hello.... Really hunni, he's not worth the space in your head. Delete and move on...
Maybe I just got so used to being treated like that, it became normal. It's taking a while to get used to how J treats me as I've never been treated so well.
See.. we told you that he was treating you like (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear). Now you can see the difference....
Repeat after me.... Yes Suzi you were right. I am worth being treated like a Princess.
Erm...can't I just say you're right?
Got my appointment through to see the mental health response team. 16th Feb. Not going to hold my breath, I've seen her before and she's one of them who told me I wasn't ill enough.
Can you ask to see someone else?
I don't know. They have far less options with me now because I've tried so many more ADs and I'm in counselling. I'm going to take my mood diary too.
Struggling today. I've already bitten my mums head off just trying to get in the lift to the first floor at the hospital! I've been awake since just before 5 again, I'm very agitated and wound up and feel ready to snap
If you don’t feel comfortable seeing her you should be able to request to see someone different and you don’t have to give a reason
Sweetie, if they can stabilise me with meds, they can stabilise you. It takes a lot of different meds to get there and then I have my ‘maintenance level’ of lithium plus 2 ADs plus pregabalin for anxiety plus diazepam prn - they can add in the others when I’m in crisis. Do you see what I’m saying? Even my maintenance meds are more than most people are on at their worst. If they can do this for me, they can do similar for you.
I just need someone to look at me and say this has been going on for long enough now, we need to think outside the box. Paroxetine has been about the best AD I've been on and that only really takes the edge off, it stops the constant thoughts of wishing I wasn't here or wanting to hurt myself but my moods are still really unstable. I have a constant urge to spend money on stuff I don't need, which is getting harder to ignore.
I'm just tired.
I can totally relate to the spending urges. Anything to make you feel better. Since my recent financial restraints I’ve been trying to find other things which aren’t too destructive to get my fix instead.
I agree, ask to see someone different...